Wednesday, November 16, 2011

The Soiled Princess

My words fell on your grasses of mirth

And showered your blessed being

My letters fell unaware on woven dreams

And mirrored a phantasmal seeing.

I wondered often, have you not a heart

That feels and drips all blue?

The air curled up and touched your breast

To hear heart throbs -- a clue.

I stood apart and a road flowed by,

All trams and buses askew,

You looked on and I looked on,

Those words in the dust just grew.

The tiara on my forehead shone

Like a diamond made of flowers

And I knew in your heart there were

A thousand venereal showers!

I asked the wind – does he want to be?

Can he leave all he fears?

The leaves whispered, it’s too late,

He needs all he bears.

Maybe next time my soiled princess?

Maybe just another while.

I left then with my tears of words

And my letters with a smile.

I travelled away, eight months and a day

Till I knew I’m all done.

I have not any music or poem,

From me, where shall I run?

I offer you my pen, my ink and thoughts

I offer you crushed joys and pain

Songs of summer and spring ballads

Songs of citizen rain.

I have my heart my reed my world

I have my words of God,

I have my pagan joys and bliss,

My sight, my ink, my word.

My love resides in Godly insights

My love resides in dew

I do not seek a material world

To live encased with you.

Your smogs and fogs of darkness bleak

Shall all shed away,

Come kiss your pen

And write again, all eight months and a day.

For happiness we seek to strive

For happiness all trouble unfurled.

For happiness shall lie our bond apart

From the glittering shimmering world.

The soiled princess knows you fear

To walk along even-in dreams,

Your mind is tied, a bona-fide to

The life licked in ice creams.

Saturday, October 29, 2011

Shikkha Somachar

Shikkha niye hocche moja

Shikkha boro gero

Shikkha thaka chai kopale

Noile ja bhag bero!

Lit lottery hobe re bhai

Kar kopale likhon?

Ma bab sob kendei morey

Lottery moron bachon?

Kar chhele ta schoole na jae

Kar meye ta bari?

Kar puchke boi-er sathe korbe ebar ari?

Lit lottery, boi pottery

Porar namey gero

Lekha pora shikey chhera

Ja bhag ebar, bero!

Chhera Kobita

Prithibir sob tuku rong jokon mishe jae kolponae

R uthe ashey akta ajob jogot

Jekhane kaloe lal mishe hoy holud

Tokhon neshar abeshe bondho hoy chokh

Sobai bole drug addict hoyto, kebol odbhut kobita

Banae dekh? Psychedilc obhishare eshe chondo bhanga

Deshlai jaali – huh, tomra r bujhbe ki bolo?

Niyom bhenge golpo fedey choli!

Monday, October 17, 2011

phoenix

fingers move across the lilting silk
of green surrender in hazy hopes
i have strained so long to hear a song
of faintest remembrance etched within

washed away, i feared, in the ungodly past

i have heard concerts of a music heart
cushioned and decked in a bejewelled shawl
and have danced in the rythm of spun words
harmony of the stringed perfections

some languages are so personal, so intimate to ears
one knows it in the whispering winds
the music of my core i hear, after a lone year
drowsed in a beckoning saddened saga

do i not know now, what the mirrors are
what the crowns and ascension mean to him
how masks become faces and tear the flesh within
how tears fear to wet the soft eyes that drank a soul

yet, the night blossoms well, bloom in a hundred years
the petals of nocturnal diamonds casts a magic spell
a shadow of seven tales stands before me, a silence is born.
remembrance and love, an existence forlorn

the country flute sings the song encrypted in the air
fingers reach out again, to reconnect somewhere

Friday, September 9, 2011

Window

Shadows of sunflowers
Kiss her face, as
Light beams in from my window.
A glass window
A fragment of my soul
Kisses her face.
My window connects
The eternal to within
And light floods in,
Streams in with bliss.
Filtered gold through the petals.
My windows
Open the soul with a kiss.

Narcissus 2

In the realm of water deep I ope my lid.
The cool touch on my nude skin shivers
In expectancy and an unknown bliss.
A moonsome stone lies on my bosom
Throbbing with the rythmic pains of life.
The white corals spread their skeletal blooms
And enthrall my feet so soft and eager
I swim my way through the colours of blue
And gather on my hair some hues of wish.
I smile and lock in my eyes the sight
Of corals, oysters, shells and fish.
He shall he will come I know,
When I call for him who lives aland.
The curls that I will make of white
Dreams stringed in a cloudy garland.
He lives ashore in shredded gloom
And plays a flute so sad and lost.
I steal for him visions of life
Away from the earthly holocaust.
He shall, as I, end up here
At Narcissus' gold mine.
A poets peace, a lover's soul,
And for us --- a shelter divine.


Saturday, August 6, 2011

Roses and Wings

I opened my eyes in the velvety light
And felt the softness in the air
Dreams were floating everywhere
Crimson wisps of delight
Scarlet drops of a pure heart
And bright blood flowing in my veins
I painted wings on my bare back
And my feathers smooth in the wake
I stood on the liquid emptiness
Liberated intoxication
I know I can fly among the
Vivid redness and maroon desires
You have kissed my eyes, my eyes ....

Sunday, July 24, 2011

Hearts Don't Lie

The mild increase in the beats
The unknown rhythm in the feet
The cheery light in mind
Is really one of it's kind,
And though reasons may try
Your emotions defy,

No, our Hearts don't lie.

A sleepy little girl
Dreams of someone lost
Over days he flies just in
And speaks to her serene
She knows its just a dream
But her mind doesn't defy,

No, Hearts don't lie.

An estranged soul wonders
If the sailors have forgotten
The land they loved by
The anchors were addressed
His mind fears the loss
But love does all defy,

No, Hearts don't lie.

The clouds play a game
They whitely spell a name
And puts it on the blue
Bold strong and true.
They know he will it find
For eyes kiss the mind.
And none do love defy,

Dear, Hearts never lie.

Monday, July 18, 2011

Narcissus

I saw him in the water
The clear water of the stream
And loved his image
I saw the clarity in his eyes
And the truth in his heart
I knew he could love

He could be trusted and felt
A warmth seeped through my heart
As I saw that image in the water
Shy elated breathing heavy
Or was it the rippling of the
Clear water mirroring him?

Was it mirroring him?
Who was he? A nymph?
A fairy tale? Shadow of my mind?
A breath in the wind?
A part of me?

A frog jumped in the water
And he rippled away
Like an old wives tale
Leaving me unwise, in pain.
Shall the water bring him back
Draw his image again?

Shall he look and find me here
Shall he miss my eyes?
Shall I know that he was here
Shall he know my sighs?

Shall he know I had him so
Had him in my thought
Shall I know if he did care
His heart wants me or not?

O water, o water
Image bearer, hold me in your arms
Let him come and stare in you
And see my rippling charms.

Let him come in these woods
And find myself in here
Water water take me in
Hold my face so clear.

Ripple above O lovely rain
I sink in soft tears
Let him come and find me here
Where the air allures.

The image had held him
Imprisoned in glee
Now I drown and set him free.
Let him come and seek me now
In the cool water's brow.

O love, O love, you tell him then
To find me next
In the flowery glen
To take me close in the next birth be
Where it would be me and he.

Thursday, June 23, 2011

Silence 2

The very air between us knew
A simple phenomenon explicable
By basic Physics -- Electrostatic force,
Better put as Gravitational force or Magnetism.
Newtons laws could better explain the potential energy
In the kinetic actions we undertook
Moving away with lush indefinite shyness
A frown or scorn hiding the intensity threatening
An overwhelming exposure in a flit of a second
Like the 1/f split of a pin-hole camera.
Our souls moving about like fluid molecules
Brownian motion attracting, deflecting,
Closing in, repulsion in fear of closing in too much.
A duty, a responsibility held behind, beyond
All feasibilities, all points of negotiable concentric attraction
Undefined, undeniable, the prismatic play
Of light, the emergence of dissected desires that showed
What a heart really wants beneath all garbed appearances.
When shall freedom come? Psyche and Songs are so loyal.
They reveal hearts like the chemical presence of copper
In a complex salt of life, (of relationships, of smothered wants)
Burning blue-green like Eros on a pure Platinum wire.

Silence

Is silence a relationship?
Can silence be a bond between
Two people unknown to each other?
The smart quirk sms wrote a quick
Poke for a friend across miles
Leaving the question behind
In thin air, like broken ice,
Can relationships be built out of silence?

Sunday, June 12, 2011

Crystal Powder

Sugar candy smiles
Pink floss love
Voluminous sweet nothings
A kiss on the lip
Fingers cross and lock
We had weaved our dreams
In blessed blue
Diamonds sparkle
Like dew drops over
Dove mornings
We are beyond, above
And melt in thin air
Angels of White life
Feathers of companionship
And absence in frozen dust
Crystals of Royalty
And our lovely baby pink buds

Saturday, June 11, 2011

Damnation

I spread my arms and open up to the skies above
The grass beneath my feet dazzles green with jealousy
I spread my wings to their full breadth
And bask in the scorching glory of the dictatorial sun
My naked feet touches the grass with a claimant wish
I flap my large wings with the utter elegance of power.


My face bears the roughness of an uncut diamond
I can cut you through and through,
Not a drop of blood shall spill on Agamemnon's carpet
As truth wrenches itself out of your whispered love.
Your kisses melting like ice over my jaw-lines.

My eyes have seized yours as we lock into a game
Of finding reflections in eyes as we prowl in a dance
Crystal balls know not your fate as much as I do
Mon amour, je te d├ęteste et pourtant je t'aime

Hold my hand, draw me close to you, closer more
You shake, you tremble, you hesitate, you fool
You know not what desire is, what it is to want,
To dream, to be enshrouded in pain, yet wait
For an eternity, for the sudden stroke of fate or doom.


I am the crucible of history, the incense of Time.
I write you like a piece of doggerel and throw you away
If I wish, when I want. My wings spread high,
Poised for flight, to encumber the skies in my fire.
Come, burn in me, within me, inside me
Lick me up your eyes, taste my salt, my scathing rage!

Thursday, June 2, 2011

Dristi

tomar chokhe ak odbhut dripto nesha
ki obolilae takiye thakte paro aktana
drishti niboddho thake mukher opor
ami r firey takate pari koi? lal hoe jabo.
tumi bujhe jabe lojja tuku.
thak. otuku amari thak.
jamon tumio jano na tomar gaaler
oi lal ava tuku amar kotota priyo.
lojja tumio pao obujh chhele
kintu ato nimogno thako j ter-i paona

*

You are happy

Very happy

I am happy

Very happy

But not together

Sunday, May 29, 2011

Lost my Doll

And I've lost my doll
I lost my doll
I lost my games
I lost my days
I lost my hopes
I lost my love
I lost those precious
moments of charm
Those enclosed days
so warm,
I have lost them once
I have lost them all
I have lost my doll
I have lost my doll

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Self Definition II

On a silent evening
A glass of close company
A faint pink of love swimming
On the drink of desire.
You drop in
With a sudden unexpected dose
Of increased nervousness
Blushes and shy smiles.
An uncanny smile invisible between us.
Two spoonfuls of you
Added to the reddening liquid
Concentrated solution of :)

Monday, May 23, 2011

A Love Story

You were there with me
Talking about all the odds and ends
Wondering what to do
How to feel, so confused, shy
You would have hidden your face
And smiled by yourself, at yourself.
Each inch of closeness or distance
Bothering you.
The rendezvous making you happy, so special ...
Words on words, never ending lines...
An unknown desire reddening through your skin
An insane thought that makes you crave.
You think of all those past crushes you had,
Wondering have you finally reached your goal?
Your heartbeats will tell you ...

Friday, May 20, 2011

A crazy Jocular song

I must thank Souroneil Lahiri for introducing me to a lovely song. Goodness, the day he sang it for me, I laughed my head off. It was cute, it was silly, it was funny, it was definitely a mood lifter. And he did a wonderful bengali version of it as well. Prem Projonon o Protarona priyotama, Prem Projonon o Protarona. Mindblowing! And he sang it with so much of gusto, that much added to the flavour. And then, the cat comes out of the bag! The song is sung none other than by Kailash Kher, my fave man in sufi-rock! Double dhamaka!!! And when i heard him sing .... dude, he was AWESOME!!!!! LOve, seX aur Dhoka darling, LoVe Sex aur DhokA .... tujhe goli marunga, teri jaan bachaunga, ufff. Then I heard other songs from the film, all of them were crazy man and the music and rhythms were lovely. I loved the Kailash Kher wala songs best, as usual! Today I was down down down down and these songs gave me a HUGE lift. Thanx to Kailash Kher and ofcourse Mr Lahiri the great! I would love it if he drops by and publishes his wondreful bengali version .... Joke, this one is for you, Cheers!!!!


Tujhe goli maarunga, teri jaan bachaunga
Tujhe godh sulaunga, teri neendh udaunga

Tujhe goli maaru teri jaan bachaun
Tujhe godh sulau teri neendh udaun
Saans ye meri bhaamph hai baby garam agan ka jhoka
Saans ye meri bhaamph hai baby garam agan ka jhoka
Kaatke rakh doonga agar tune judne se roka
(love sex aur dhoka darling, love sex aur dhoka)


Tasveer utaarunga
Tasveer utaarunga, mele mein dikhaunga
Jo dekhega uski akhiyan nachwaunga

Tasveer utaarun, mele mein dikhaun
Jo dekhe uski akhiyan nachwaun
Hawas ki tarkari mein dala jalan bulan ka jhonka
Hawas ki tarkari mein dala jalan bulan ka jhonka
Kaatke rakh doonga agar tune judne se roka
(love sex aur dhoka darling, love sex aur dhoka)


PS: I have developed a strange knack for silly crazy mad songs nowadays! Pyaar ka Punchnama has a couple of silly songs. Khoka babu jae is a stupendously irritating yet funny song. I hate it, i like it. I loved DUM maaro DUM though. absolutely splendid!!! The song said everything a girl has to say. It rocks! Tu gandi acchi lagti hai, tu bandi acchi lagti hai ... haha!!!

unspoken

its hard to forget
what i did
or did not
what you did
could
would
should
have
have not
its just hard to forget.

i remember that grimace
the scorn on your face
the jeering laughter
i felt so despised
you cared a bang
me, lost, hurt, pained ...

i remember the softened eyes
the laughter that seeped through
the kindly light i thought was mine
the mistakes
the wrong assumptions

love
like
hate
despair
death
its hard to forget


............................................
..............................................
................................
.........................................
.........................


and some more words
unspoken

Sunday, May 15, 2011

Self Definition 1

I am dark, deep, unfathomable
I mystify you, charm, enthrall you
I am a desire you can hardly contain
Ask the cells in your body who are so pert, eager
I am the call of the deepest green
A buzz, an insatiable hunger within.
I am yours
I am
Id

Saturday, May 7, 2011

Ink

On your pages scribbled with every day work
And thousands of words conveyed, communicated
A hundred promises find their way and jot themselves down.
You wake up and run, work and travel and work some more
Have fun, watch tv, a movie, midnight porn or maybe music
Theatre, art galleries, kissing and some sexual flamboyance
Strains on eyes working on your laptop, a glass of water.
You watch the news and sigh or curse or be delighted
A bite of KFC chicken or maybe some bread and omlette,
How does it matter when you slept last night? Dreamt well, didnt you?
A wet plant on your window sill. Some morning sun.
You dont remember me, consciously. Who has time now?
Life goes on. I saw me in you last night, like a stain of ink drop
On your paper of life, scribbled on madly.

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Unbound


Separated by miles a million
And distances
That dont promise a whisper
They live
Each on their own
Like souls sent down from heaven
To live a life, a task.
A mystic light remains
A path of hallowed joy
So the souls can walk back
When they close their eyes
In dreams, in prayer or tiresome burdens.
They meet over celestial ether
And clasp each other
Eager and soft,
The home of peace on his bosom,
The beating of his heart
Her soft breath and tears wet
Their absolute quiet understanding.
His fingers caress her tresses
Smoothen her troubled lines
And kiss her closed eyes.
She holds him with passion
And a gentle reassurance of strength.
His tired, saddened face seek solace
His emptiness seeks her so deeply,
Their faces merge into one absolution.
The stars sing.
Locked in each other's arms,
They seek peace -- love of life.
Heartbeats coalesce and silence
Assumes a high completeness.
They rock gently ...
...
...

Till so far a voice calls out,
Or duties call,
Responsibilities, promises, work
Realms of stone and leaves,
A life to be lived,
A task ahead.


The celestial dream dissolves
Like circles on the face of water.
Ever so lightly
Like a promise of togetherness
At an eye's closure
Or a small intense kiss
Till we meet again ....

Friday, April 29, 2011

Epiphany


She has flown over his garden
And loved his pretty flowers
She had sung to his rivers
That she couldnt see but hear
She saw the luxuriant flowers
She couldnt smell them
And blamed it on her tiny nose
She loved the pretty colours
Flashy and charming, vibrant, vigorous
Passionate with secret hopes.
Only she couldnt smell them.
She only thought she could.
Now that the sun is up, high and hot
The flowers have started melting
Plastic petals
False freshness
Putrid passions
Soulless sojourn


She has been mocked at by cruelty.
The joke was on her.
He had lied so dry, so fake.
She has learnt
Even eyes can lie
Even love can die.


So she flew away
Away
And he couldnt sneer anymore

Thursday, April 28, 2011

Torn Leaves

At times,I find no way around me. A strange darkness encompasses all senses. As if a black velvet enshrouds my consciousness and wraps me up in utter despair. So helpless,so utterly helpless and weak. I remember you then,recall some fleeting moments that had whizzed by in a delirious delicious whisper. I rememory you. You ....



where are you? how are you? ofcourse you have been happy. you are so much luckier and you are worth it. you are worth all the joys and success in life. no, you are not perfect. you never were. and so, I loved you. you,with your baby face that expressed the dire need to be cuddled,held close. your eyes that showed the belief that the world is a wonderful place,full of strange things ... alice in wonderland. you love your hair. the frame of you, the silhouette of a happy child, pampered and spoilt. somewhere within you, a fountain seeking release. a person whose emotions showed on the face, the very bodily expressions. no, your efforts to hide them weren't very effective.



i wish i could have some yellow flowers. bright and yellow,soft and lively. may be with some white small flowers in between. or just a bunch of sunflowers. i would hold them close, close to my heart. i would sprinkle some water on them to make them look like dews. some cold air,fresh and wet,blowing within my mind. I absolutely adore yellow flowers. I believe the orange-red Gulmohars are simply majestic.the King of flowers.


Sunday, April 24, 2011

for u

waiting

.....


.....



....


....


waiting waiting waiting


....


....
...



...


waiting ....


...

...



....



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Dry Love


Close your eyes sweetheart
And breathe out your worries.
Let yourself go ...
Tenderly my love
Shall I hold you in my arms
And offer you the calm of my air.
Flowers of purity shall shower
Their petals on the bliss of our togetherness.
Close your eyes my darling
And make our dreams your joy
I shall be with you forever
Till death does deploy
His magnificient art to pull us apart,
But fail he shall, my love, fail he will.


How meaningless these feelings seem
Now that you are not there,
Now that you have left me alone
Among such claustrophobic darkness.
And you will never come back
Nor seek love, nor peace, nor me, ever ...

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Elixir

I bathe in a bowl of strawberries
And dry myself with ice
I drink your love on my skin
And kiss the stars sprinkled above.
I hold on tight to the crystal streams
As milk swirls around
And covers me in delicious cream.
One touch of me on your tongue
The fragrance embraces you
With love, delight, perfection.
Roses can smile and offer you excitement
I only fulfill and drown you in Ecstasy.
You are but a glass of dry dreams
Ready to break at a single crush
Drink my peace, my solace
I am your life.

New Post

Fuck off bitch!
Do not come near me.
Dirty hag, witch.
Fuck me, honey
Give me your soft sins!
Swirling of tongues
Inside-roads
Opened thighs????
Curses, slitting nerves
Menstrual discharges
Disposed like foetus
Cries at midnight
Lonely cries
Cries of ecstacy
Delight
Or wrenching pain
Stay out
Stay OUT
Do not read into the words
Do not go near her
She's poison
God's scorpion
STAY FAR
Masturbate your desires

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The Call

Ao ao khel dekho
Madari ka khel dekho
Dekho dekho aur dekho
Madari ka khel dekho


Tricks
Illusions
Burnt tongues
Walking on ropes
Daggers
Piercing chests
Pain
Blood
Illusion
Dilemma
Coins
Broken utensils
Aluminium clangs
Nonplussed faces
Wondering eyes
Claps
Coins
Shoes
Thieves
Little monkeys
Death due in three weeks
Skinny puppies
Lal zari ka topi
Clitter clatter clitter
Dance for your life
Cry
Die
God laughs at the fun
Village circus
Death death death
Fun
Cheer
Coins
Life

Madari ka khel dekho
Madari ka Khel dekho
Madari ka khel ---------

Monday, April 18, 2011

Stranded ... Writhing

(The Last Child of Hamelin Sings to the Pied Piper)


O Piper
why do my eyes see you
in the most dreamiest of dreams?
why do you reside in every
frame and fragment of my
montage, in golden streams?
have you not seen my face
and pitied my stupidity
have you not seen my eyes
and forgiven my sweet insanity?
i ran away
trust me, i did try
and i dont know why
i have become Alice
running at the same place
without a slight displacement.
O Piper
you live beyond the rainbow bridge
and leave me alone to wonder
do you still wait under starry skies
and sing of heart's passionate cries?
do you still kiss drenched leaves
as the heart full of love heaves?
do you still search for silver shores
(do you care about me anymore?)
....
words beyond unspoken words
and silence that sighs
memories
our memories
arrested in deep dark eyes.

Saturday, April 9, 2011

Valentine's Day

Naked
Upon a lilac field
Covered in pollen grains
They come walking
Towards a grave.

*
Soft petals
Caress their feet
And drench their colours
With skin.
Dark lilacs
Flowers of sin.

**
Folded in union
From head to toe
Stomachs stuffed inside
Skin tightened
Beyond sufference
Cracks appear behind.

***
A complete O
Orgasmic circle?
A painful hole
Within ...
Torn cardiac muscles.
Crushed lilacs bleed.

****
Beauty is a trade of time
Love,a prostitution of dreams
With fake words to lust.
Love, a dreadful sin.
Lilacs dig into the flesh
And kill all innocence
Within ...

Friday, April 8, 2011

Lost Words

I know you have gone
A thousand seas apart
I know I have within
Just a broken heart;
I know I cannot say
The words three
Be with me
Just be with me.

Through stances
Weird advances
Through moments
Surprised and glen
Through words
Terse unaffected
Rude rough and plain,
I cannot make a wish
For sweetness and cheer
I live by the seas
In constant loss and fear.

I close my eyes
In sweet remembrance
Of moments past and gone
As I step into the silences
Discarded and forlorn.

I know you dont care
Neither even pretend
I know you are a lot busy
And have a lot to tend.

I know it never meant value
Not a single day
It was all a joke of fate
An unlucky foray.

If I could I would
Break the silence
With a verbose spree
And sing aloud in a sweet voice
Be with me
Just be with me.

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Natok

Boddo prem korte icche korche aj.
Se ki re? Tor prem pacche naki?
Jotto baje kotha. Prem korbi ki na bol.
Aj hotat?
Ummmmm... Emni
Gorom hoe acho bujhi?
Akta chor khabi.
Sorry, yarki marchilam.
Ki chhiri yarkir. Goru kothakar.
Ki rokom kore prem korbi bol.
Tui bol. Kamon chash?
Accha bol tor kemon chhele pochondo?
Jaa taa rokomer purush.
Ei to achi ami jaa-taa rokom.
Purush ki?
Mane? Tor sondeho ache?
Kothar mane bujhisni. Tui definitely male.
Er mane ki? Male ra kothar mane bojhena?
Umm,I dint mean that but khanik ta tai.
Ki holo case ta? Bujhlam na.
Oi j bollam tui jaa taa rokomer male.
Dhyat! ki j bolish kichui bujhina.
Chesta korish kano?
Moteo chesta korina. Tokey khola patar moto porte pari.
Yarki? amar chokhe sob lekha thake naki?
Sob. Biswas kor. Sob. Kichui lukae na.
Sorbonash. E to bhari chintar kotha.
Chintar ki ache? Simple thakbi best thakbi.
Kachkola.
Dekhbi bhalo chhele pabi. Dekhte to kharap nosh.
Bhalo holei bhalo chhele pabo. naki?
Definitely.
Faltu kotha.
Amar moto bhalo nao pete parish.
Isssh re, ki j hobe tahole amar.
Ami achi to. Ne na.
Eesssh. Ma go, thak.
Tui ki chaash amrita?
Janina. Bhalobaste hoyto.
Amio chai.
Chol tai kori.
Sottyi? Ami kintu bhishon bhalobaste pari.
:)
Haschish?
:D to ki korbo?
Let me love you.
J bhabe bhabchish se bhabe hoyna.
Tobe r ki? Nacho. Nirosh kothakar.
&*^%$ shala.
Sottyi bol, bhalobaste parbi?
Janina, se sahosh r nei aj. Bhanga ayna...
Bujhi. Bhishon bhabe bujhi. sigh
sigh
Ki holo abar tor? Dibbi chili j.
Dhur bhallagena. Chol prem kori.
Abar prem? Atokkhon ki korchi?
Eta prem? Dur. Chol prem kori. Aj icche hoeche.
Shala &*^%$@.
Nije ki? :D
:D

Monday, April 4, 2011

II

words wrap you in a calm engagement
brain gets wed to imagination
call what you will this narcissistic night
but faces fail to find appropriation.
lost
in splendor
whispers of love

I

Drops of joy threaten to invade
A realm cut across with pain
I know he misses me in his heart
Who sends me whispers in the rain

Plea to my Rain

Come rain! wash me anew
I pray to you
With open palms and arms
Thrown upwards in
Sheer pain
Come rain!

I cannot hide my tears
Nor my forlorn fears
As the music of water
Flows by in ecstacy
And drown my heart
In waves of lost dreams
False beliefs, cherished gleams.

Come into my arms
And hide your drenched soul
Enwrap me in your cares
Come rain, I belong to you
No one to part us dares.

He knows not I exist
He knows not my name
He cares not who am I
Nor whether I remain.
We fall alone my dear rain
We embrace our untamed souls
I merge with you tonight
And form a droplet whole.

Embrace me tight
Absorb my heart
Absorb the essence of me
So that I may scatter away
Farther off than he.

Saturday, April 2, 2011

Stuck

Is it all gone, I ask?
Is it really all gone?
Time is running past
I am left aghast
Standing against time.
Tides wash by
In currents, so fast.

I have been standing here
At the same spot
For a year
Despite all negatives
And a heart full of fear.
I have been here
Very much here.

Moments I relive
In our undefined realm
Of songs unsung
Tunes unharped ...
Yet moments shared
As the Divine governs
On our speechless lips.

Our eyes never failed
To convey the unspoken
A hidden smile
Barely noticed
Shining faces
A golden glow of happiness
Untouched by the world.
Purity in its purest form.

Where does our story go?
Time flies in mirthless tides
Eyes dont see and facts dont match
And in a strange blade we catch
Your hands locked in else's hand.

Heart and love seem like quicksand
Move On,You Fool!
Rages the spectator stand.
A strange pure belief lurks so ...
Unbelieving and a confused doe
I look at mine and your distant hand ...
And in the same spot still I stand.

Sunday, March 27, 2011

Love, Destiny and Blood

I am a little blind mouse
Living on a wide chess board
And scuttling across the grid
With all might I can afford.

He sits across the table
With a playmate, like a kid;
He plays with her my Destiny
Placing my fate on a lid.

My eye of love is the bet
Dirty, old and blind
They pick me up by my tail
And place me as assigned
On a black or white
For all I know
I am so deadly blind.

My little heart is pawned next
As quivering cold I stand
He laughs and plans his next move
And picks me up on a hand.

A cold steel blade I feel next
Beside my red little heart
I know not who won who lost
Neither the game's fair start.

They threw my little body away
In a rotting garbage can
On a blotted chessboard
Lay my heart
And the garbage was picked by a van.

They reveled in the funny game
And in high spirits made love
My heart gave out spurts of blood
As my eyes appeared Above.

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

A Nocturnal Abhishar

Clusters of stars spread across the night
Like a necklace of diamonds torn and
Scattered like drops of water dripping
From her freshly bathed wet hair
Fragrant and mystic like the black spells
Of tanvi ratri, the sorceress of desire.

I can hear your songs on the night air
As you breathe deep in the nostalgia
Of the moments we have lived together
And woven a basket of well loved time.
What do you sing, O musician? My bird?
I can hear the sweet music of your rhyme.

There comes the charmer of the night
My beloved thief with the sword of moon
A careless whistle on his lips, so well tuned,
He comes stealthily to seize my dreamless sleep,
Pick all the scattered diamonds of the dark night
And stud them on my skin, lit up with sparkling stars.
Wet hair welcome his eager face into a shanth embrace.

Thursday, March 17, 2011

the sea-man

a wide old sea
and a stupid man
a stupid man was he
who knew not how
nor knew not who
knew not when was he
brought along to the sea shore
and made to live there he.
a wide blue sea
full of songs and
full of saga be
the stupid old man
was found therein
amidst the deep blue sea.
the sea the man
the man the sea
a stupid sea was he
that he loved himself
and not the sea
a part of who was he.
the wide old sea
and the lost man
such insane was he
he knew not how
he knew not why
love anyelse than he.
a stupid man
a silly man
loved by the sea.

Saturday, March 12, 2011

Prothom Bristi

Abesh bhore bristi elo andhar alo mekhe

Jabe bujhi kon konner chokhe te jol rekhe

Dupur belae andhar khelae akash galo dheke

Bristi elo jhomjhomiye shukno mati dekhe.

Shohor tokhon bhijche vorey joler akul gaane

Dogdho hoa dupur bhashe kaker kalo snane.

Bristi elo hurmuriye thanda hawa beye

Janala dhore bhijche tokhon akti kalo meye.

Pagol hawa joriye takey korche matamati

Tar mukh bhije jae bristi hawae,ekla khelar sathi.

Bristi fota, jhaak bedhey sob asche dole dole

Chhobe j tar somosto ta, bhijiye debar chhole.

Dheur pore dheu utheche bristir jhake jhake

Akla meye ka k khojey adim megher faakey?

Bristi bhashey tar buke teo onno kothao bose

Hoyto sheo bhijche eka emoni abeshe.

Tar chokhe te kar mukh aj bhashey bristi bhorey?

Kalo meyer hridoy jurey brishti namey jorey.

Brishti bheja chul beye tar namey joler sur

Bristi bheja shohor tokhon joler neshae chur.

Bristi elo bristi elo bristi jhake jhake

Dui prante dui ti manush joler chhobi akey.

Friday, March 11, 2011

Leprachaun's Gold

A pot of gold
heaped like love
dazzling, rich and precious
singing of dreams
sparkling visions of luxury
Luck lust love loy
A pot of golden joy

Golden coins heaped
like leaves of autumn
spread on a bed of smiles
Chunks of yellow metal
all shapes and size
gleaming like desires
of a fresh beginning.

Gold that vanishes
Leprachaun's gold
O Godly demon
of desires unperishable
and dreams that mislead.
whose wealth were you?
whose love were you?

Hoping against hope
in a sea of grey losses
raging waves of despair
watery eyes searching for light.
a drop of yes somewhere
an acceptance possibly?
Hoping against hope

Sunday, March 6, 2011

bhangon

Aayna ki sotti kotha bole?
Koto gulo bochhor periye galo
Ajo eka lorai kore jacchi nijer sathe.
Tumi chhile, tobu to chhile go.
Hoyto oshantite, mitthye obhijoge
Opomane o bistirno teekto tae,
Tobu to chhile.
Tobe ki bhul korlam kichu?
Ato gulo bochhor aksathe,
Maniye nebar chesta ofuran
Bhalobeshe cholar sudirgho chesta
Gochhano songshar, sopno
Kintu sonman diley na, morjada.
Sorir k sorir chhonde melae
Icchera sobsomoy mukh chene na.
Amaro hoyto bhul chilo onek
Tobu chesta chilo, biswas koro.
Nijer shotta k bishorjon ditey r
Parini, dewale theke jaoa peeth,
R kichu griho-bondi chitkar.
Divorce paper-e shoi dite giye
Bhetor ta kede uthechilo,
Kintu tokhon r pechhobar upay nei.
Tumie to gacho hariye,
Amar bhalobashar sei jon.
Prem tuku khujte chai ajo
Kintu somosto tumi'r arale aj se r nei.
Somporke ami r nei jano?
Tomar r sondhano nei kichu.
Khub kanna pae kokhono kokhono,
Sei sopno gulor chhaya der dekhe.
Bhalo ki bashi ajo tomae?
Na, shudhu dukkho hoy tomar jonne,
Nijer jonne, amader mitthye tukur jonne.
Aayna sotti bole na, jano?
Ami ajo atke achi kothao,
Aj theke koto koto bochhor ager ami te.
Majhkhaner ei somporko
Ak obhiggota, khoto o nishwo ta.
Bhalo theko.

Saturday, March 5, 2011

Intoxication


Crazy wildernesses along a brazen wall
Two eyes, intoxicated
Burning with an insane desire
To light up in dense fire
among the dark wildernesses.
Spectral fireflies, a lonesome moon
lapping up the silvery waters
dipped in lusty moonlight
spreading her wings in full.
Broken glass, scattered petals
of blood orchids and white blossom.
Rolling along dew wet grass
soiled feet and empty skin,
Black wings of night shading
the trees in secret conversation
soft whispers of the leafy caresses.
Painful idiocies left behind.
Stark reality changes realms.
Shades of cumbersome toils
left behind like decency and sunrays.
A never ending sojourn
Steams of visual illusions
Sensory hallucinations
And a burning under the skin
on silent nights and heavy air
palpitating in the fragrance of aamer-bol.
Wilderness and wild fervours.

Sunday, February 27, 2011

a tramp's song

livin in a sandbox
chokin everyday
cryin out in despair
not knowin what to say.

bitin on a cracked lip
eyes pink with tears
livin in a sad box
wipin all my fears.

tellin me a cross tale
bunchin up my hair
shuttin out the sunlight
crinchin at the glare

livin in a broken well
buildin you in pasts
gatherin up the memories
waitin in the dusts.

How long does it take?

How long exactly does it take
To look at someone and get
Stuck at a point of no-return?
To forget where, when, how
And just for once,
Surrender,
To those eyes without a damn
Care for any pretensions,
awkward deliberations and facades.
Just a surrender into the soothening
cool waves of peace and intense
Joy that seeps inside a soul.
Can one hide what is linked
To your blood,your very existence?
Can one negate one's truth?
How long shall it take for him
To wake up from stabbing oblivions
And throw away his ghostly mask?
How long shall he risk to bear
Treading along broken glasses that
Bleeds us to reddened deaths?
O break the silence before we sink!

Thursday, February 24, 2011

a sign

i want to wake up
on a lotus dawn
and ope my eyes
to gaze and fawn
upon a face
that would loom
above mine
and make me bloom
like a mystic ray
of sylvan light
or spread wings
in golden flight.
i could just look
smile and smile
paint a colour bridge
for a hundred mile
i still can feel on
my breath
intoxicating odour
of the magic wreath
of words and glances
unspelt glee-s
at meaningful gaps
prayers and pleas

call it belief
ignorance or fate
i am still on the wait
and would want
to know of you
if flames and hopes glow
on the other side too

Sunday, February 20, 2011

Weeping Shadows

Strange feelings ...
Trackless thoughts
Enter my blocked head
Create a ruckus within.
Stop! I yell: No more!
But the heart is deaf,
Ever has been.

Thoughts that ruin me
inside, emerge from
nowhere and fill me
through and through.
In closed eyes I see
none but a faceless
shadow of you.

Clouds and watery eyes...

Hands reach out unknowingly
To receive a sad palm.
I forcefully close my eyes,
To block out the known
deep deep look that
enters my soul and
drinks me down with love
and empties me of all fear.

THOU SHALT NOT

TRESPASSERS SHALL BE PROSECUTED

I step back
And close my eyes
Only to find an embrace
A warm close embrace
girdling my soul like
an twirling creeper
of passion-flowers.
And I melt
All alone ...

I feel warm tears
running down my body
from the back of my neck
as if someone holds me in
a hug and cries uncontrollably.
Why do I feel thus, why?

I look out to the moonless sky
That returns an empty stare.
Strange thoughts fill up my mind.
And heaves the night air,
with sobbing breaths and
restless eyes, expressionless faces.
O do not ask what the heart
finds in such felt teary embraces.






Saturday, February 19, 2011

morning blues

its a beautiful morning,
one that could kiss you,
in its golden sunlight,
cold air that would face you,
could soothe your
cramped mind
and remind you of dreams
misspelt and left behind.

you wish you could cry
atleast sob aloud
but your eyes remain dry,
like faint summer clouds.
you know you had loved,
you know you hadnt erred,
you're confused how you went wrong,
and what you had seen and heard.

the morning becomes prettier,
and as enchanting a seraphim,
that tears just might roll out,
and release the stream within.

Friday, February 18, 2011

My Beloved Place

Presidency. Presidency College, Kolkata. College Street. Boi-para. The gate. The huge tree beside it. Main building. Lover’s lane. Avenue of shady walks and the great destination called the Tank, where something funny is sure to meet your eyes or atleast some chaapa flowers scattered, enticing you to pick them up. Our postgraduate dept. Every morning I rush like a lunatic for a class, either ending up for an empty class as or an already ongoing class. Sorry, sir … Madam, may I …

Shantiniketan. Admission test. Overheard some girls talking about interview at Presidency the very next day. Exam. Evening. Rushing back home. The department’s computer room. I knew I’ll not get through anyway. So, I may as well be a little cheeky. It’s a lost case. ACM,DB,PR,MA,SD. Intertextual questions, basic questions and my huge answers, referring back to the epics. Everyone listening to me. I laughed aloud suddenly. Things easened up. Clear vibes that I got through. I was leaving. As I shut the door behind, I heard a chorus – o ki bhalo,na? First love. Presidency.

My choice of leaving science and opting for love, literature, was justified in one word. Presi?!!

Our story began. Open friendships. Trying to know people. Trying to understand what and how ACM and DKB taught. Half things going over the head but then, the mesmerizing effect. I could feel my brains being stimulated and encouraged. This is it. This is the place to be. I belong here. A strange new world of intellectualism and ideas, everything that I felt but was refused earlier, came back and got grounds this time. I felt so connected, so intellectually supported and at home. I believed in me once again. Land of faith. I wasn’t alone here.

Presidency gave me a spine – to rise and fight back and come out from a relationship I had been suffering for 4 yrs. An abusive relationship that I had given my best to. Each and every rope I had tied fell loose and I broke, like a glass doll. Till December I suffered. The gap behind canteen -- hide, weep, insults. Presidency te giye to khub nongrami shikhecho. Chhi chhi. Agey koto lokkhi shanto chile. Akhon? @#$%^&*!$&((*^)#$ Presi hugged me with empty alleys, the Geography dept. balcony and a golden sunshine by which I promised I will kill myself. But the very next day, when I was supposed to leave this world, Presi showed me a reason to live, a little love. I lived. I gained.

The roads and walks and pathways around Presi knows my life almost. Each path has many stories, moments, events, incidents, scattered laughter and insane jokes. Friends. The best ones I have got in my entire life. As close as school buddies. A motherly girl and some lovely ladies who would want me as a sister. So much comfort they gave me. And naming me, Virgin Queen which I choose to take as compliment. Food, guys, trees, numerous dogs, garbage, sudden temples, libraries, derozio hall. And some awesome viva days! Some moments to remember.

Two years. Presidency has given me knowledge. I have always felt Presi is my saviour – intellectually, emotionally, even physically. I changed my look slightly here though no weight loss, sadly. And guys! Nice fan following in two years. Wow! Facebbok. Farmville. My beloved blog. October posts. And some of the best creations of my life till date. Dreams and wild conjectures. A half dreamt story … certain simple, ecstatic joys -- romantic, clean and pure.

Leaving Presidency.

It is one word now that has got mixed up with strong emotions of love, hope, dreams, illusions, brokenhearts, adda, stupidity, strong ideas, beliefs, efforts and sheer, sheer love – literature and the people around literature. Words and the lack of it. Chaos and eros.

Presi -- I’m yours.

Kontho

Dana mele ora amar riti
Dokhin hawa amar odhikar
Roktey amar boiche saat somudrer dheu
Jodi kache astey chao keu
To toiri theko uthal-pathal hawae
R neel akasher dakey.
Thakbo ami ranga gulmohore
Kono kalboishakhir unmadonae.
Thakbo tomar chokito sopne
Ba omogh kolponae.
Ami j nibir, ami j gohon
Boro prio, bhishon gopon.
Ami dhulo, ami nishaash
Ami jatona, ami asshash.
Ami unmadona, ami prottoy
Ami mostishko, ami hridoy.
Ami bayu, ami gaan
Ami kabbo, ami pran.
Ami prem, ami dhyan
Ami shanti, ami gyan.
Ami manoshee, ami dabi,
Shoto boddho duare jadu-chabi.
Ami chorom o porom
Ami lirlojja o shorom.
Ami deen, ami heen,
Ami kono shayerir nausheen.
Ami sadhona, ami sadhika,
Amie prem, kishori radhika.
Projapotir alo hoe jabo tomae ghirey
R ushno agun ese dogdhabe
Balir shwet shubhro anweshwon.
Prem
Mrittyu
Jeebon

Thursday, February 17, 2011

A Declaration

*

I have come into the world

To live, to laugh, to light

Up the days of some lives.

The dark cobwebs of remorse

Try to bog me down.

I refuse

To budge, to die out,

To be torn asunder.

I have only loved

And I am not ashamed.

**

It is not a fault to love

And make oneself happy.

Love is all we live for

And live by – a personal emotion.

What is it that belongs to you?

And is entirely yours?

What at all?

Only words and frames of signifiers

That expresses the deepest

Desires and intensities within.

***

I have seen the purity

Of lovely morning mists

And shy poinsettias blush.

And I have felt upon my skin

The odour of kindling passions

And intoxicated moonlights.

I have not erred

I have not sinned

I have just loved

The beauty and the bliss.

****

The rainbows may have left me

But I am drenched in its hue.

I cannot be angry and restless

Nor can I ever dislike you.

Prized, precarious and destined

You are, if at all, a piece of

My diamond dews and crystal affections.

*****

I long for a shower of rain

That could drench in watery blossom

And embrace me tightly in its

Comforts, in its caring manly bosom.

And pounce upon my dry lips

For a hungry mesmerized spell.

I have come to laugh, to live

And trouble your heart so well.

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Rog

Basanto esechilo sedin
sei bhora ashwiner
kuashar orna jorano bhorey.
Jokhon upodrob chilo
tulo megher, neel akasher buke,
kichu dustu premer beejer moto.
Tukro tukro meghera tokhon
ghaser boney ful futiyechilo.
Tokhon hariye jawa ak nabik
hotat sondhan peyechilo
kono daruchini dwiper.
R basanto esechilo
chardikey praner plabon niye.
Aj ritu-chokre eseche bosonto,
gache gache praner sonchar,
jongla gachh fule matowara,
shudu osomoyer bosonto tuku
aj dhongshe porinoto,
kono deho-posharinir premer moto.
Shudhu kono rikto bhogno
murtir moto khov o kostey
tar ahoto obosthan.
Sei bosonto shudui ak
bhranto kolpona chilo.
Ak onamni meyer
hariye jawar upakkhan ....

jiggasa

Khub icche kore
ak bar
shudu ekti bar
khub kache jai
ak bar
shudu ekti bar
chokhe chokh rakhi
gole jak
charipash hotat
shudhu ak bar
nirnimesh
opolok sei dristi-te
khuji tar ortho
se ki keboli
nirmom ak upohash?
nisthur roktopat?
ekti bar khuji
tar chokhe
ekti bar kebol
shudhu ekti proshno
rakhi tar kache --
ki oporadh chilo amar
kano aj bondini ami
amari bhul badhone?

aral

Bhaggish noishobdo ra chilo
noile ami kichu tei aral petam na
nijer bhul bhranti r bokami gulo
bishal akare dhora pore jeto.
Jeno kan pete shunchilam
onner premalap, ba gopon
kono alapcharita, gohon
kamatur goponiyo tae jano
onuprobesh kari, tader
birokti ghrina r dwesh
puriye dite pare amar shorir.
Bhaggish noishobdo ra chilo,
noile ami j bhul kokkhe dhuke
porechilam, sei paap amar khoma
kora jetona kichu tei.
Ami sei moithun drishyo theke
sorey esechi durey, bhito,
sontrosto, onutopto.
Hae hae hae; ki lojja!
Ami kano kichu shobdo
kichu kothar mayae joralam
ja amar noy, poro-kriyae
onuprobesh karini boner pakhi,
k bolechilo tokey upobone dhukte?
Bhaggish noishobdo ra chilo.
Amar kolponar noishobde
chilo neerob garho onubhuti,
atmo-somorpon o nishchinto nibirota,
sei olik kolponar noishobder
chadore nijer glani dheke aj
amar mukhor mugdhota polatok.
Roktakto ak molinota pore thak,
kono mrito akulotar sesh chinho.

Monday, February 14, 2011

Kagojer Sesh Golpo

Ak deshe chilo ak chotto kagojer putul. Ektu domrano tar kagojer chehara ta, ektu kochkano, jor hawae tar kagojer shada ga ektu muchre gache. Ta ki r kora, se kintu sei chotto meyeti roilo, kagojer putul. Nam? Dhora jak Kagji. Kagji tar baba ma k niye thakto. Tar baba mayer gaye koto kotha lekha, babbah! Koto aki buki, chhera fata, futow ache kichu, rong kichu ache, kichu dhue gache. Tar baba mayer gaye besir bhag dukkher golpo r onek chestar golpo. Kagji obak hoe shunto. Tar mone hoto se nijeo golpo banabe, sundor golpo, sopnomoy golpo, joyer golpo. Kagji tar choto shada sorir-tar opor ghosha daag gulo dekhto. Ogulow tar golpo. Tar etodiner kotha.

Kagji akta kagojer putul. Duti binuni, ekti frock porihita choto ak meye. Kagojer rong shada. Kintu ichher rong edik odik pore thake. Kichu taal patar sepaai ashey, chesta kore Kagji k sei ronge sajate. Kagjir boyei gache. Se ki taal-patar sepia chae? Se chae ronger jadukori, sopner rongin alpona aka thakbe tar shada gae. Choto meye, tar melai sokh. Akbar se ak taaler sepaai-r theke rong niyechilo kintu eesh ki baje rong. Se chesta koreo makhte pareni se rong. Kagji jane sepaai ra tar moton noy. Ora onno rokom.

Kagjir deshe akdin mela boshlo. Onek boro mela. Se mela prochur anando, prochur jinish. Desh bidesh theke balloon elo, kagojer aro putulera elo, basher khelna elo, matir putul elo, kacher putulo elo. Elo manusher dol sei somosto khelna, putul, baanshi r tupir poshra niye. Tader koto rokom khela. Keu keu ghurio dekhalo. Kagoj noy kintu omni patla plastic kamon akashe orey. Kagji kintu akashe urte parbe na. se hariye jabe j. Besi hawa dilei se jabe urey, kono dewale byatha pabe, chhirey jabe, moyla hoe jabe. Kagji boro adurey. Se oto kosto soibe kamon kore? Na na. Kagji tai nijeke halka akta dheele bedhe rekheche. Oi tar niyom, tar mot, tar adorsho. Oi badhon khulle se bheshe jabe niyotir kalo andhare. Ak domka hawae oi polka kagojer manush tuku sesh. Kagji shudu obak hoe dakhe r shekhe.

Oi manusher dole Kagji dekhlo ak rong beronger manush. Lokey takey bole shong. Kagji obak chokhe takey dekhte thake. Kia k odbhut manush se. Sara dehey tar ronger chhota, kintu thik kamon jeno. Thik sobar moton noy. Se ektu kachh theke dekhtei jae bepar khana ki? Jei na takey dekha, hotat takey shong dile soriye. Kagji bhari dukkhu pele. Tarpor sorey giye bhable e ki? Dukkho pelam kano? Na na. E ki? Se dekhle tar samne kotto rong. Ektu khani se makhle thote. Achha thak. Se chole jae okhan theke.

Ghurte ghurte thik abar Kagji dekhe samne sei shong. Ebar r shong takey tarae na. Se dekhate thake nana rokom khela. Rongin sopno buney chole se hawae. Sobai tali dae r Kagji kamon odbhut ak ghore chole jae. Ojantei. Tar kamon mone hotey thake ei sob tar jonno. Ei mela, ei etto jinish, ei shong, shonger sob khela, shonger rong, shonger dhong, melar gondho sob tar. Se opekkha kore. Kiser, kano, se jane na. Se rong makhte thake. Notun notun ronge se seje othey praae. Sobai bole kano eto saj? Kiser sopno bunish tui? Ato rong makhchis kano tui kagojer putul hoe? Kagji kichu bole na. Se bujhi peyeche kichur sondhan. Hijibiji kuchikuchi lekhae bhore othey tar binuni duti. Sari sari sopner shuto diye jaal bune se mayar chador jorae. Prithibi rongin hoe othey r Kagji bhison lojja pae, anmone. Sob-e to tar, se jane.

Tarpor akdin ak sundor gari ashe. Rajkumari nabey sei tomtom theke. Shong tar songey chole jae. Se j rajkumarir shong. Eto sobai jane. Desh shuddhu lok. Ei mela Rajkumarir jonne. Eto rong, eto anando, sobi tar upolokkhe. Shong to tari nijer manush. Putul gulow sei rajkumarir rope dishe hara. Sobai k mugdho kore tara biday nae.

Ki korbe Kagji ebar? Kadbe? Na na na na. Ekdom na. Kagojer putulder to kadte nei. R kadbei ba kano se? Tar kiser dukkho? Se to nije nijei akta bishal boro mitthye sopner shuto chhoracchilo. Ebar sei shuto tei nije jorie morche. Ta te dukkher ki ache? Eto tar prappo saja. Tar shasti. Kagojer putul hoe tar atokhani dhrishto ta? Tar to koto bhaggo j desher manush takey chhirey fele daeni. Chotto akta kagojer meye tar abar koto sokh. Ish, ato rong se mekhechilo? Ato saj kano? Ki sob kilbiley lekha tar gaye? Chii chhi. Laj nei, shorom nei, behaya kagojer putul kothakar. Chhhi!!! Sobi mitthye mitthye mitthye mitthye. Sob tar dosh. Chhhi!!! Shong ki bhablo takey? Rong mekhe chola ak nongra kagojer putul? Jar dam nei, nam nei, ostitto nei. Shong kebol rogor dekheche r bhebeche ki boka, ki orthoheen unmad hote pare akti samanno kagojer putul. Putulero kina sesh obdi … hahahahaha … chhi chhi chhi chhi chhi …

Lojja lage Kagjir boddo. Khub lojja lage. E ki koreche se? Kano koreche se? Jokhon sara duniyar lok takey akrokom shuniyeche se karo kothae biswas koreni. Tar nijero onekbar mone hoeche jano esob tar jonne noy, tobuo se kon oshomo sahoshe bhor kore nijeke sajiyeche? Rong mekheche? Nijeke amon koreo keu opoman kore bujhi? Atotao niche namae keu nijeke? Holoi ba se kagojer meye. Tai bole nijer atto-sonman bole ki kichui nei Kagjir? Chhi !!!!

Ebar upay? Se to akta upay bar kora chai. Tar badhon dawa dheeler shuto chhirey Kagji nijeke hawae bhasiye dilo. K bole hawa kagojer shotru? Hawar moton porom bondhu r ache bujhi? Ei to aj hawa tei muktir sondhan pelo se. Chotto kagojer putulti ak jor domka hawae bheshe chollo. Urte urte urte se opore uthte laglo. Praae megher kachakachi. Se megher rong kalo.

Hotat bristi namlo. Kagji bhije galo. Pore galo matite. R golte laglo boro boro bristir fotae. Kagoj gole rokto berote thaklo. Boite laglo se rokto paharer gaa beye. Jhornar jole mishe galo ta. Golapi borno dharon korlo se jol. Garo hote laglo se borno. Kagojer gayeo rokto thake bujhi?

Kagji puro goley gache. Se r nei.

Saturday, February 12, 2011

Magic Lamp

A hope
A flame
Burning gold
On a tiny lamp ablaze
The cold wind came
and blew it out
Still did it amaze

The flame
died out
And burst forth again
By no obvious logic
Maybe thats why
they call it
Hope
The love-lamp of magic.

Thursday, February 10, 2011

A Note

Looking back again and again
at past moments and magic spells,
wondering if they shall ever be
back and I would have those sudden
seconds of pure ecstasy ever again.

A strange fluttering sensation
within a restless heart
and a feeling of loss somewhere.

I had found a world of unknown
joys and happiness like a dream.
A story weaved by destiny
A dream in words covered in silence.
A dance of imaginations melted into
a reality and fusion of felt similarities,
basking under the same sunshine
looking at the same tiara of the night
from either ends of the rainbow bridge
mysterious smiles,people wondering,trackless...

O I can live by the memories
they make me so happy and I shine
like a little star on the dark wish of night.
Be happy, wherever you are,
whatever you do, and find soulful peace.
May all and all and all your dreams come true.
I thank you for every little drop
of magic that has come in a life
torn, tattered and wounded cruelly.
Thanks for showing that dreams are not dead
and fairy tales do exist.
The world is not a bad place and some emotions
and feelings are as genuine as
i dont know
maybe, love?!

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

The Symbolic Realm

Would you want to walk into
a tender moment
when the earliest hours
of a promising dawn
peep through the dark curtains
of night and show the delicate
skin of her eyelids
lined with shy sleep?

Would you want to wake up
on a regular morning
full of drab jobs ahead,
to the sunrays playing on her face?
You shade her skin with a hand
that protects and caresses,
as she snuggles up a bit more,
all untidy, messy yet innocent.

Would you want to live through a dusty
day full of travel and tiresome troubles
and crisscross work tables conjoined
at the hips -- pending and reserved?
Yet interwoven with shades of a
laughter and surprised, enveloped messages
across a cup of coffee or sunday cooking together.

Would you hope to share her thrills at
a consumerist evening, window-shopping?
Or would you want to put a rose
in her hand on her stressed days
and surrender in her silly comforts
when you have had a stupid problem?

Would you love to lick an icecream
and walk with her through roads
choked with traffic jam, giving a damn
to the spaceless inferno around,
when you have her and your own feet
to walk on, and this heavily junk city.

Would you close your eyes and drench
yourself in the first monsoon rain
or a sudden shower that would tell
stories of a childhood, or a college memory
or some distant forgotten melodies?
Would you close your eyes and remember
the first love of your life or an old poem?
Interlocked fingers, old stories, drops of rain on faces

Would you desire to light a candle
and float it in a glass bowl,
water decked with rose petals?
A soft music plays in your heart
as you hold her close, too close
and a slow dance
shadows shivering on the walls...

Would you want a walk
under the silver moonlight,
hand in hand and a content whispering
of wet grass under your feet, about
a completeness found under the sylvan skies?

Its all here
in this beautiful life.
Come
Unlock
the chest of mysteries.

Seed

I fold my legs
dig my chin into my knees
and close my fists tight.
Shut my eyes
close my ears
reduce myself
into a foetus
and wish I was never born
being undone thus.
Half weeping
half hoping
half awake
half sleeping
unnerved
scared
fearing a loss
deep inside.
I stretch out my arms
and want to belong
want to be loved
and cared for
a kiss
a tender touch
a breath of assurance.
Where do I find a shelter
for my hurt being?
Cut into pieces and scattered
over the dust and burnt.
I can only weep
and turn like a wheel
from love to despair
from dreams to loss
and be left alone
to put back everything
like a jigsaw puzzle.
I want to go back
into the dark amniotic sac
and the cerebral presence
the umbilical cord
my trace into the womb.
Better still
the zygotic meosis stopped
and me only a possibility.
An idea of a daughter.
Undo me
O undo me, mother!

Monday, February 7, 2011

connections

The mind sets on its own journey
when the heart trembles softly
at the soft buds of blossoms white.
Passions about to bloom at dawn.
Closed eyes see, hear and feel
words, dialogues and essences
that have not any foundings in
reality. Dismissed as idle dreams
they float on heavy air and fade.
Only to come back sometime later
as reality in a sweetly surprised
world of truths and tactile existence.
I wonder how that happens.
Interconnection of thoughts...
moulded into actions and existences...
a connection that cannot be whisked away
as another idle thought or wishful thinking.
Being together on another level
not merely imaginary but perhaps telepathic.
How much has unconscious connections unlocked?
Not merely the heart but a chunk of mind.
What would we call it? what can it be called?


Wonder if you too can feel my bliss
and breath in the air around you.
Wonder if I can listen to your heartbeat
by touching my own pulse ....

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

The Name

A moment
strikes
like blue lightning
and freezes
in an instant
the throbbing mind
the restless heart
the anxious thoughts
and unquiet silences
framed upon panes of
memories and yearnings.

Fingers had touched
on wet sand
the Name.
The air has breathed
the words many times
with its soulful existence.
The flowers have shaken
their yellow petals
to trace the Name
etched on the soft soil.
A timeless ageless act
rehearsed over and over again.

Over mountains and oceans
rivers and terrains
of green or brown
or ash
the mind has run like
wild beasts
or supersonic sound,
looking for the Name
one has lost or fears to lose.

And then
the moment
that was awaited
with trembling perfection
arrives
and freezes
like
eternity.
Eyes do not meet.
Breathing halts.
Only an invisible
string binds something
somewhere in a deep embrace.
Never to untie again
Not in this life.

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Nameless

Beyond closed lids in intimate darkness
A face sketches itself in light
Crayons of moments past
Fills its unmasked expressions
Of unrepressed joy and surrender
Submission to the feelings frothing
underneath an exterior carefully made-up.
Drowning in layers of silk and
chocolatey butter bliss and kiss
of unnamed smiles drenched with
purple mystery and lavender breaths,
I ask myself questions that have
no answers or perhaps lack the answerer.
Words and the power of words.
Faith and the quest of belief.
Trust and the strength of enamour.
The brown darkness engulfs all senses
and shows me deep inside
the silver arc yearning completion.

Monday, January 31, 2011

City chorus

i stand alone by the pavements
and watch my city flow by
my heartless city
my city of joy
where are you now
where will you be when i
find myself locked away in
the past tense after some time
some lives and moments later?

i seek refuge in farmville fields
and till some lands, fertilise them
tend my animals
and collect gifts and valentines
from my mailbox and Cupid's castle
i'm pretty as a princess here
and have no cares in the world
i leave you my city for a virtual farm

homelands
my small town
my large trees and scattered traffic
honking rickshaws and
blaring cars
chilled mornings and dusky lusts
migratory birds filling these skies
my desire to live life

You have given me lots
my dirty city
a lot of experience and emotions
a lot of throbs and smiles
you have returned to me lost faith
belief, destiny and love
poems and creations
secrets and melodies
my wonder woman
my joyous company
pockmarked beauty
and a romantic damsel


Wednesday, January 26, 2011

chander dheu

Chander srot bhese jae
nirob nodir garo goponio ta chhue.
Ami chhip fele bose thaki
majh doriyae
akta sopno dhorar akankhae.
Chander guro guro alo rupoli
spordha makhiye dae machher gae,
tara khele jae dheu-r niche,
kono gurho nihitarther moto.
Sopno othey na borshi te,
thirthir kore mogno hawa
shudu sporsho kore jae.
Shobdo hoe otha shorir chhue
Chander srot boye jae.

Lonely Hour

This is I guess my lonely hour
as I touch the wind and try to feel
the moistness beneath your calm.
I look around with empty eyes
as you submerge within the nothingness.
A hint of being, a dreg of hope
is all I lust for.
For the second coming.
I feel you gone and perhaps
this is the end of something
burnt and bred and moulded and shaped
and chiselled and framed and painted
with a thousand raging colours
flooded with passion and intimacy.
O why do I hope? Why do I dream?
For another beginning somewhere?
After an existence with mortal wounds
A drop of peace and honest acceptance,
of whoever I am, whatever I am, a caricature,
incomplete and stupid, lazy and imperfect.
But then, I am scared and fear again
the ending close by and all gone.
It doesnt matter however as some words
can only give, and not expect to receive.
I can only hope to be hypnotised again.
I guess this is my lonely hour
A mind in deja vu
Touching collages of so many songs
and an unusual little story.

Little girl, little girl, where have you been?
I have been to London to look at the Queen.


Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Meeting Her

She was waiting for me. As soon I laid my eyes on her from a distance I could see her waiting patiently, yet an anxious eagerness filled her grey body as she mildly smiled in the orange sunlight around her. The sun spread his powdered gold on her slow waves and the light caressed her softly with intense love. I went closer to her and she smiled affectionately. She held me in a light embrace with her winds that touched me and soothed my face. I surrendered to her calm invitation. Water was lapping the last step of the ghaat. I went down to the very end and sat on the dried earth that had come with the waves and settled on the bricks. Ganga was flowing by. Pieces of plastic, bottles and other crap were floating down her body and she wore a very dirty colour but still she was pretty, like a woman in love, like a mother. I smiled at her. She was beckoning me into her lap. I went close to her and dipped my feet into her waters. My feet instanty felt the chill of her cold caresses. As if she is so eager, so intent to absorb all the heat in my body and cool me down, give me peace and calm. The cold waters absorbed my feet in their magical adulations. I looked at them. They seemed so happy, as if finally they have found a place to absolve their grim sorrows. A place where they can tell their complaints and grieve over things that cannot be undone. And they slowly lost their heat in the charming coldness. I stared at my own happy feet. For the first time in my entire life, they seemed beautiful to myself. As if they have been loved by the soft waves. Through the water I saw them, resting at perfect peace. The river has cleaned it of all its tired pains and has kissed it with new vigor and beauty. The waves began to rise above the steps now. They crept above my feet and slowly climbed up my legs. Jowar has come. Tides.

Old lady, you have been flowing for ages, for thousands of years. You have been part and parcel of so many stories, of so many lives through hundreds of years. You have touched the shores of almost half India. You have been worshipped, used, molested, cleansed and discarded yet loved and praised. Mother of half the civilization of India; witness and party to history, you flow by with nonchalance and perfect poise. Yet you have broken homes and flooded villages, drowned them all and created something somewhere else. Maker and destroyer. Vaishnavi and Shivangi – patit pavni Ganga. Industrial waste bearer Ganga, an essential way of purgation – your waters – and herein I dip my feet – dirty Ganga, pure Ganga.

I picked up my feet after a long long time and looked at them. They have turned fairer I found and were glistening in the wet sunlight. Red nailpolish adorned my feet in a suhagan way. As if its Ganga who had painted my nails with a lot of care and suhag. I felt like a bride whose feet has been dipped in mehendi or alta before her first grihaprabesh into her new home. And the wet foot marks are supposed to be a ceremonial entrance into a new life. I smiled at my own footprints on the dry steps. Ganga has soothed me, calmed me deep inside and thrown me into a trance. As I had dipped my feet into her waves, I had become a part of her history, her many stories and her essential being. I have Ganga inside me now. Born on Ganga-puja day, my dida always said I belong to her, I am her boon. She has blessed me today and washed my feet, decked them and sent me back to land -- to start a new life, a new tryst; like a daughter to on her bridal journey to an unknown destiny that has been so carefully bred in dreams.

Monday, January 24, 2011

aloron

Bhetor theke shara jage
Dhoni othe buker majhe
Jokhon bhoy pabar kotha
Hridoye tokhon madol bajey.

Sesh hocce prohor ebar
Ghonta bujhi bajlo jore
Tokhon emon elopathar
Golpo elo rokto bhore.

Hiyar majhe sur utheche
janina ta kano bajey,
Ayna prohor gunche chokhe,
Chuler majhe apni sajey.

Srot eseche mora gange,
jibon bhore plabon aney.
Prem eseche
Dukul bhore
Akash jure tarar bani.
Kokhon elo ki ba jani?

Sedin jano asche kache
Orna dhaka hridoy nache.
Hoyto sob-e oleek maya
Hoyto sob-e kaler chhaya.

Mon manena, mon manena
Shudhui jani asche se din.
Nirobota sur tuleche
ochin desher pakhi hoe.

Sunday, January 23, 2011

Animals and us

They fought over pieces of food
in the garbage cans
or beside open drains.
They fought over love and rites
or rights of mating their choice.
They fought over group territories
they claim their own to protect
food sources and shelter areas.
They fought. They didnt kill.
They preyed for food not malice.
They shoved brothers away for
mother's milk and then licked eachother.
They are animals
despicable creatures.
God's low creations
No intelligence
No intellect
Instincts
Primitive drives.
Animosity.
Look at today's newspaper
or yesterdays'
or tomorrows'
People licking each other's blood.
Politics they say
violence communalism
hatred they say.
Animals, they say.
Animals? Who?
Voices in my head scream
Call me an animal lover
I hate my human identity