The Soiled Princess

My words fell on your grasses of mirth

And showered your blessed being

My letters fell unaware on woven dreams

And mirrored a phantasmal seeing.

I wondered often, have you not a heart

That feels and drips all blue?

The air curled up and touched your breast

To hear heart throbs -- a clue.

I stood apart and a road flowed by,

All trams and buses askew,

You looked on and I looked on,

Those words in the dust just grew.

The tiara on my forehead shone

Like a diamond made of flowers

And I knew in your heart there were

A thousand venereal showers!

I asked the wind – does he want to be?

Can he leave all he fears?

The leaves whispered, it’s too late,

He needs all he bears.

Maybe next time my soiled princess?

Maybe just another while.

I left then with my tears of words

And my letters with a smile.

I travelled away, eight months and a day

Till I knew I’m all done.

I have not any music or poem,

From me, where shall I run?

I offer you my pen, my ink and thoughts

I offer you crushed joys and pain

Songs of summer and spring ballads

Songs of citizen rain.

I have my heart my reed my world

I have my words of God,

I have my pagan joys and bliss,

My sight, my ink, my word.

My love resides in Godly insights

My love resides in dew

I do not seek a material world

To live encased with you.

Your smogs and fogs of darkness bleak

Shall all shed away,

Come kiss your pen

And write again, all eight months and a day.

For happiness we seek to strive

For happiness all trouble unfurled.

For happiness shall lie our bond apart

From the glittering shimmering world.

The soiled princess knows you fear

To walk along even-in dreams,

Your mind is tied, a bona-fide to

The life licked in ice creams.

Shikkha Somachar

Shikkha niye hocche moja

Shikkha boro gero

Shikkha thaka chai kopale

Noile ja bhag bero!

Lit lottery hobe re bhai

Kar kopale likhon?

Ma bab sob kendei morey

Lottery moron bachon?

Kar chhele ta schoole na jae

Kar meye ta bari?

Kar puchke boi-er sathe korbe ebar ari?

Lit lottery, boi pottery

Porar namey gero

Lekha pora shikey chhera

Ja bhag ebar, bero!

Chhera Kobita

Prithibir sob tuku rong jokon mishe jae kolponae

R uthe ashey akta ajob jogot

Jekhane kaloe lal mishe hoy holud

Tokhon neshar abeshe bondho hoy chokh

Sobai bole drug addict hoyto, kebol odbhut kobita

Banae dekh? Psychedilc obhishare eshe chondo bhanga

Deshlai jaali – huh, tomra r bujhbe ki bolo?

Niyom bhenge golpo fedey choli!

phoenix

fingers move across the lilting silk

of green surrender in hazy hopes

i have strained so long to hear a song

of faintest remembrance etched within

washed away, i feared, in the ungodly past

i have heard concerts of a music heart

cushioned and decked in a bejewelled shawl

and have danced in the rythm of spun words

harmony of the stringed perfections

some languages are so personal, so intimate to ears

one knows it in the whispering winds

the music of my core i hear, after a lone year

drowsed in a beckoning saddened saga

do i not know now, what the mirrors are

what the crowns and ascension mean to him

how masks become faces and tear the flesh within

how tears fear to wet the soft eyes that drank a soul

yet, the night blossoms well, bloom in a hundred years

the petals of nocturnal diamonds casts a magic spell

a shadow of seven tales stands before me, a silence is born.

remembrance and love, an existence forlorn

the country flute sings the song encrypted in the air

fingers reach out again, to reconnect somewhere

Window

Shadows of sunflowers
Kiss her face, as
Light beams in from my window.
A glass window
A fragment of my soul
Kisses her face.
My window connects
The eternal to within
And light floods in,
Streams in with bliss.
Filtered gold through the petals.
My windows
Open the soul with a kiss.

Narcissus 2

In the realm of water deep I ope my lid.
The cool touch on my nude skin shivers
In expectancy and an unknown bliss.
A moonsome stone lies on my bosom
Throbbing with the rythmic pains of life.
The white corals spread their skeletal blooms
And enthrall my feet so soft and eager
I swim my way through the colours of blue
And gather on my hair some hues of wish.
I smile and lock in my eyes the sight
Of corals, oysters, shells and fish.
He shall he will come I know,
When I call for him who lives aland.
The curls that I will make of white
Dreams stringed in a cloudy garland.
He lives ashore in shredded gloom
And plays a flute so sad and lost.
I steal for him visions of life
Away from the earthly holocaust.
He shall, as I, end up here
At Narcissus' gold mine.
A poets peace, a lover's soul,
And for us --- a shelter divine.

Roses and Wings

I opened my eyes in the velvety light

And felt the softness in the air

Dreams were floating everywhere

Crimson wisps of delight

Scarlet drops of a pure heart

And bright blood flowing in my veins

I painted wings on my bare back

And my feathers smooth in the wake

I stood on the liquid emptiness

Liberated intoxication

I know I can fly among the

Vivid redness and maroon desires

You have kissed my eyes, my eyes ....

Hearts Don't Lie

The mild increase in the beats

The unknown rhythm in the feet

The cheery light in mind

Is really one of it's kind,

And though reasons may try

Your emotions defy,

No, our Hearts don't lie.

A sleepy little girl

Dreams of someone lost

Over days he flies just in

And speaks to her serene

She knows its just a dream

But her mind doesn't defy,

No, Hearts don't lie.

An estranged soul wonders

If the sailors have forgotten

The land they loved by

The anchors were addressed

His mind fears the loss

But love does all defy,

No, Hearts don't lie.

The clouds play a game

They whitely spell a name

And puts it on the blue

Bold strong and true.

They know he will it find

For eyes kiss the mind.

And none do love defy,

Dear, Hearts never lie.

Narcissus

I saw him in the water

The clear water of the stream

And loved his image

I saw the clarity in his eyes

And the truth in his heart

I knew he could love

He could be trusted and felt

A warmth seeped through my heart

As I saw that image in the water

Shy elated breathing heavy

Or was it the rippling of the

Clear water mirroring him?

Was it mirroring him?

Who was he? A nymph?

A fairy tale? Shadow of my mind?

A breath in the wind?

A part of me?

A frog jumped in the water

And he rippled away

Like an old wives tale

Leaving me unwise, in pain.

Shall the water bring him back

Draw his image again?

Shall he look and find me here

Shall he miss my eyes?

Shall I know that he was here

Shall he know my sighs?

Shall he know I had him so

Had him in my thought

Shall I know if he did care

His heart wants me or not?

O water, o water

Image bearer, hold me in your arms

Let him come and stare in you

And see my rippling charms.

Let him come in these woods

And find myself in here

Water water take me in

Hold my face so clear.

Ripple above O lovely rain

I sink in soft tears

Let him come and find me here

Where the air allures.

The image had held him

Imprisoned in glee

Now I drown and set him free.

Let him come and seek me now

In the cool water's brow.

O love, O love, you tell him then

To find me next

In the flowery glen

To take me close in the next birth be

Where it would be me and he.

Silence 2

The very air between us knew

A simple phenomenon explicable

By basic Physics -- Electrostatic force,

Better put as Gravitational force or Magnetism.

Newtons laws could better explain the potential energy

In the kinetic actions we undertook

Moving away with lush indefinite shyness

A frown or scorn hiding the intensity threatening

An overwhelming exposure in a flit of a second

Like the 1/f split of a pin-hole camera.

Our souls moving about like fluid molecules

Brownian motion attracting, deflecting,

Closing in, repulsion in fear of closing in too much.

A duty, a responsibility held behind, beyond

All feasibilities, all points of negotiable concentric attraction

Undefined, undeniable, the prismatic play

Of light, the emergence of dissected desires that showed

What a heart really wants beneath all garbed appearances.

When shall freedom come? Psyche and Songs are so loyal.

They reveal hearts like the chemical presence of copper

In a complex salt of life, (of relationships, of smothered wants)

Burning blue-green like Eros on a pure Platinum wire.

Silence

Is silence a relationship?

Can silence be a bond between

Two people unknown to each other?

The smart quirk sms wrote a quick

Poke for a friend across miles

Leaving the question behind

In thin air, like broken ice,

Can relationships be built out of silence?

Crystal Powder

Sugar candy smiles

Pink floss love

Voluminous sweet nothings

A kiss on the lip

Fingers cross and lock

We had weaved our dreams

In blessed blue

Diamonds sparkle

Like dew drops over

Dove mornings

We are beyond, above

And melt in thin air

Angels of White life

Feathers of companionship

And absence in frozen dust

Crystals of Royalty

And our lovely baby pink buds

Damnation

I spread my arms and open up to the skies above

The grass beneath my feet dazzles green with jealousy

I spread my wings to their full breadth

And bask in the scorching glory of the dictatorial sun

My naked feet touches the grass with a claimant wish

I flap my large wings with the utter elegance of power.

My face bears the roughness of an uncut diamond

I can cut you through and through,

Not a drop of blood shall spill on Agamemnon's carpet

As truth wrenches itself out of your whispered love.

Your kisses melting like ice over my jaw-lines.

My eyes have seized yours as we lock into a game

Of finding reflections in eyes as we prowl in a dance

Crystal balls know not your fate as much as I do

Mon amour, je te déteste et pourtant je t'aime

Hold my hand, draw me close to you, closer more

You shake, you tremble, you hesitate, you fool

You know not what desire is, what it is to want,

To dream, to be enshrouded in pain, yet wait

For an eternity, for the sudden stroke of fate or doom.

I am the crucible of history, the incense of Time.

I write you like a piece of doggerel and throw you away

If I wish, when I want. My wings spread high,

Poised for flight, to encumber the skies in my fire.

Come, burn in me, within me, inside me

Lick me up your eyes, taste my salt, my scathing rage!

Dristi

tomar chokhe ak odbhut dripto nesha

ki obolilae takiye thakte paro aktana

drishti niboddho thake mukher opor

ami r firey takate pari koi? lal hoe jabo.

tumi bujhe jabe lojja tuku.

thak. otuku amari thak.

jamon tumio jano na tomar gaaler

oi lal ava tuku amar kotota priyo.

lojja tumio pao obujh chhele

kintu ato nimogno thako j ter-i paona

*

You are happy

Very happy

I am happy

Very happy

But not together

Lost my Doll

And I've lost my doll

I lost my doll

I lost my games

I lost my days

I lost my hopes

I lost my love

I lost those precious

moments of charm

Those enclosed days

so warm,

I have lost them once

I have lost them all

I have lost my doll

I have lost my doll

Self Definition II

On a silent evening

A glass of close company

A faint pink of love swimming

On the drink of desire.

You drop in

With a sudden unexpected dose

Of increased nervousness

Blushes and shy smiles.

An uncanny smile invisible between us.

Two spoonfuls of you

Added to the reddening liquid

Concentrated solution of :)

A Love Story

You were there with me

Talking about all the odds and ends

Wondering what to do

How to feel, so confused, shy

You would have hidden your face

And smiled by yourself, at yourself.

Each inch of closeness or distance

Bothering you.

The rendezvous making you happy, so special ...

Words on words, never ending lines...

An unknown desire reddening through your skin

An insane thought that makes you crave.

You think of all those past crushes you had,

Wondering have you finally reached your goal?

Your heartbeats will tell you ...

A crazy Jocular song

I must thank Souroneil Lahiri for introducing me to a lovely song. Goodness, the day he sang it for me, I laughed my head off. It was cute, it was silly, it was funny, it was definitely a mood lifter. And he did a wonderful bengali version of it as well. Prem Projonon o Protarona priyotama, Prem Projonon o Protarona. Mindblowing! And he sang it with so much of gusto, that much added to the flavour. And then, the cat comes out of the bag! The song is sung none other than by Kailash Kher, my fave man in sufi-rock! Double dhamaka!!! And when i heard him sing .... dude, he was AWESOME!!!!! LOve, seX aur Dhoka darling, LoVe Sex aur DhokA .... tujhe goli marunga, teri jaan bachaunga, ufff. Then I heard other songs from the film, all of them were crazy man and the music and rhythms were lovely. I loved the Kailash Kher wala songs best, as usual! Today I was down down down down and these songs gave me a HUGE lift. Thanx to Kailash Kher and ofcourse Mr Lahiri the great! I would love it if he drops by and publishes his wondreful bengali version .... Joke, this one is for you, Cheers!!!!

Tujhe goli maarunga, teri jaan bachaunga
Tujhe godh sulaunga, teri neendh udaunga

Tujhe goli maaru teri jaan bachaun
Tujhe godh sulau teri neendh udaun
Saans ye meri bhaamph hai baby garam agan ka jhoka
Saans ye meri bhaamph hai baby garam agan ka jhoka
Kaatke rakh doonga agar tune judne se roka
(love sex aur dhoka darling, love sex aur dhoka)


Tasveer utaarunga
Tasveer utaarunga, mele mein dikhaunga
Jo dekhega uski akhiyan nachwaunga

Tasveer utaarun, mele mein dikhaun
Jo dekhe uski akhiyan nachwaun
Hawas ki tarkari mein dala jalan bulan ka jhonka
Hawas ki tarkari mein dala jalan bulan ka jhonka
Kaatke rakh doonga agar tune judne se roka
(love sex aur dhoka darling, love sex aur dhoka)

PS: I have developed a strange knack for silly crazy mad songs nowadays! Pyaar ka Punchnama has a couple of silly songs. Khoka babu jae is a stupendously irritating yet funny song. I hate it, i like it. I loved DUM maaro DUM though. absolutely splendid!!! The song said everything a girl has to say. It rocks! Tu gandi acchi lagti hai, tu bandi acchi lagti hai ... haha!!!

unspoken

its hard to forget

what i did

or did not

what you did

could

would

should

have

have not

its just hard to forget.

i remember that grimace

the scorn on your face

the jeering laughter

i felt so despised

you cared a bang

me, lost, hurt, pained ...

i remember the softened eyes

the laughter that seeped through

the kindly light i thought was mine

the mistakes

the wrong assumptions

love

like

hate

despair

death

its hard to forget

............................................

..............................................

................................

.........................................

.........................

and some more words

unspoken

Self Definition 1

I am dark, deep, unfathomable

I mystify you, charm, enthrall you

I am a desire you can hardly contain

Ask the cells in your body who are so pert, eager

I am the call of the deepest green

A buzz, an insatiable hunger within.

I am yours

I am

Id

Ink

On your pages scribbled with every day work

And thousands of words conveyed, communicated

A hundred promises find their way and jot themselves down.

You wake up and run, work and travel and work some more

Have fun, watch tv, a movie, midnight porn or maybe music

Theatre, art galleries, kissing and some sexual flamboyance

Strains on eyes working on your laptop, a glass of water.

You watch the news and sigh or curse or be delighted

A bite of KFC chicken or maybe some bread and omlette,

How does it matter when you slept last night? Dreamt well, didnt you?

A wet plant on your window sill. Some morning sun.

You dont remember me, consciously. Who has time now?

Life goes on. I saw me in you last night, like a stain of ink drop

On your paper of life, scribbled on madly.

Unbound

Separated by miles a million

And distances

That dont promise a whisper

They live

Each on their own

Like souls sent down from heaven

To live a life, a task.

A mystic light remains

A path of hallowed joy

So the souls can walk back

When they close their eyes

In dreams, in prayer or tiresome burdens.

They meet over celestial ether

And clasp each other

Eager and soft,

The home of peace on his bosom,

The beating of his heart

Her soft breath and tears wet

Their absolute quiet understanding.

His fingers caress her tresses

Smoothen her troubled lines

And kiss her closed eyes.

She holds him with passion

And a gentle reassurance of strength.

His tired, saddened face seek solace

His emptiness seeks her so deeply,

Their faces merge into one absolution.

The stars sing.

Locked in each other's arms,

They seek peace -- love of life.

Heartbeats coalesce and silence

Assumes a high completeness.

They rock gently ...

...

...

Till so far a voice calls out,

Or duties call,

Responsibilities, promises, work

Realms of stone and leaves,

A life to be lived,

A task ahead.

The celestial dream dissolves

Like circles on the face of water.

Ever so lightly

Like a promise of togetherness

At an eye's closure

Or a small intense kiss

Till we meet again ....

Epiphany

She has flown over his garden

And loved his pretty flowers

She had sung to his rivers

That she couldnt see but hear

She saw the luxuriant flowers

She couldnt smell them

And blamed it on her tiny nose

She loved the pretty colours

Flashy and charming, vibrant, vigorous

Passionate with secret hopes.

Only she couldnt smell them.

She only thought she could.

Now that the sun is up, high and hot

The flowers have started melting

Plastic petals

False freshness

Putrid passions

Soulless sojourn

She has been mocked at by cruelty.

The joke was on her.

He had lied so dry, so fake.

She has learnt

Even eyes can lie

Even love can die.

So she flew away

Away

And he couldnt sneer anymore

Torn Leaves

At times,I find no way around me. A strange darkness encompasses all senses. As if a black velvet enshrouds my consciousness and wraps me up in utter despair. So helpless,so utterly helpless and weak. I remember you then,recall some fleeting moments that had whizzed by in a delirious delicious whisper. I rememory you. You ....

where are you? how are you? ofcourse you have been happy. you are so much luckier and you are worth it. you are worth all the joys and success in life. no, you are not perfect. you never were. and so, I loved you. you,with your baby face that expressed the dire need to be cuddled,held close. your eyes that showed the belief that the world is a wonderful place,full of strange things ... alice in wonderland. you love your hair. the frame of you, the silhouette of a happy child, pampered and spoilt. somewhere within you, a fountain seeking release. a person whose emotions showed on the face, the very bodily expressions. no, your efforts to hide them weren't very effective.

i wish i could have some yellow flowers. bright and yellow,soft and lively. may be with some white small flowers in between. or just a bunch of sunflowers. i would hold them close, close to my heart. i would sprinkle some water on them to make them look like dews. some cold air,fresh and wet,blowing within my mind. I absolutely adore yellow flowers. I believe the orange-red Gulmohars are simply majestic.the King of flowers.

for u

waiting

.....

.....

....

....

waiting waiting waiting

....

....

...

...

waiting ....

...

...

....

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Dry Love

Close your eyes sweetheart

And breathe out your worries.

Let yourself go ...

Tenderly my love

Shall I hold you in my arms

And offer you the calm of my air.

Flowers of purity shall shower

Their petals on the bliss of our togetherness.

Close your eyes my darling

And make our dreams your joy

I shall be with you forever

Till death does deploy

His magnificient art to pull us apart,

But fail he shall, my love, fail he will.

How meaningless these feelings seem

Now that you are not there,

Now that you have left me alone

Among such claustrophobic darkness.

And you will never come back

Nor seek love, nor peace, nor me, ever ...

Elixir

I bathe in a bowl of strawberries

And dry myself with ice

I drink your love on my skin

And kiss the stars sprinkled above.

I hold on tight to the crystal streams

As milk swirls around

And covers me in delicious cream.

One touch of me on your tongue

The fragrance embraces you

With love, delight, perfection.

Roses can smile and offer you excitement

I only fulfill and drown you in Ecstasy.

You are but a glass of dry dreams

Ready to break at a single crush

Drink my peace, my solace

I am your life.

New Post

Fuck off bitch!

Do not come near me.

Dirty hag, witch.

Fuck me, honey

Give me your soft sins!

Swirling of tongues

Inside-roads

Opened thighs????

Curses, slitting nerves

Menstrual discharges

Disposed like foetus

Cries at midnight

Lonely cries

Cries of ecstacy

Delight

Or wrenching pain

Stay out

Stay OUT

Do not read into the words

Do not go near her

She's poison

God's scorpion

STAY FAR

Masturbate your desires

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Cry

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Sobs

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RUN RUN RUN LOLA RUN

FLY

DIE

WHO CARES?

bloody hell.

LAUGH.

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The Call

Ao ao khel dekho

Madari ka khel dekho

Dekho dekho aur dekho

Madari ka khel dekho

Tricks

Illusions

Burnt tongues

Walking on ropes

Daggers

Piercing chests

Pain

Blood

Illusion

Dilemma

Coins

Broken utensils

Aluminium clangs

Nonplussed faces

Wondering eyes

Claps

Coins

Shoes

Thieves

Little monkeys

Death due in three weeks

Skinny puppies

Lal zari ka topi

Clitter clatter clitter

Dance for your life

Cry

Die

God laughs at the fun

Village circus

Death death death

Fun

Cheer

Coins

Life

Madari ka khel dekho

Madari ka Khel dekho

Madari ka khel ---------

Stranded ... Writhing

(The Last Child of Hamelin Sings to the Pied Piper)

O Piper

why do my eyes see you

in the most dreamiest of dreams?

why do you reside in every

frame and fragment of my

montage, in golden streams?

have you not seen my face

and pitied my stupidity

have you not seen my eyes

and forgiven my sweet insanity?

i ran away

trust me, i did try

and i dont know why

i have become Alice

running at the same place

without a slight displacement.

O Piper

you live beyond the rainbow bridge

and leave me alone to wonder

do you still wait under starry skies

and sing of heart's passionate cries?

do you still kiss drenched leaves

as the heart full of love heaves?

do you still search for silver shores

(do you care about me anymore?)

....

words beyond unspoken words

and silence that sighs

memories

our memories

arrested in deep dark eyes.

Valentine's Day

Naked

Upon a lilac field

Covered in pollen grains

They come walking

Towards a grave.

*

Soft petals

Caress their feet

And drench their colours

With skin.

Dark lilacs

Flowers of sin.

**

Folded in union

From head to toe

Stomachs stuffed inside

Skin tightened

Beyond sufference

Cracks appear behind.

***

A complete O

Orgasmic circle?

A painful hole

Within ...

Torn cardiac muscles.

Crushed lilacs bleed.

****

Beauty is a trade of time

Love,a prostitution of dreams

With fake words to lust.

Love, a dreadful sin.

Lilacs dig into the flesh

And kill all innocence

Within ...

Lost Words

I know you have gone

A thousand seas apart

I know I have within

Just a broken heart;

I know I cannot say

The words three

Be with me

Just be with me.

Through stances

Weird advances

Through moments

Surprised and glen

Through words

Terse unaffected

Rude rough and plain,

I cannot make a wish

For sweetness and cheer

I live by the seas

In constant loss and fear.

I close my eyes

In sweet remembrance

Of moments past and gone

As I step into the silences

Discarded and forlorn.

I know you dont care

Neither even pretend

I know you are a lot busy

And have a lot to tend.

I know it never meant value

Not a single day

It was all a joke of fate

An unlucky foray.

If I could I would

Break the silence

With a verbose spree

And sing aloud in a sweet voice

Be with me

Just be with me.

Natok

Boddo prem korte icche korche aj.

Se ki re? Tor prem pacche naki?

Jotto baje kotha. Prem korbi ki na bol.

Aj hotat?

Ummmmm... Emni

Gorom hoe acho bujhi?

Akta chor khabi.

Sorry, yarki marchilam.

Ki chhiri yarkir. Goru kothakar.

Ki rokom kore prem korbi bol.

Tui bol. Kamon chash?

Accha bol tor kemon chhele pochondo?

Jaa taa rokomer purush.

Ei to achi ami jaa-taa rokom.

Purush ki?

Mane? Tor sondeho ache?

Kothar mane bujhisni. Tui definitely male.

Er mane ki? Male ra kothar mane bojhena?

Umm,I dint mean that but khanik ta tai.

Ki holo case ta? Bujhlam na.

Oi j bollam tui jaa taa rokomer male.

Dhyat! ki j bolish kichui bujhina.

Chesta korish kano?

Moteo chesta korina. Tokey khola patar moto porte pari.

Yarki? amar chokhe sob lekha thake naki?

Sob. Biswas kor. Sob. Kichui lukae na.

Sorbonash. E to bhari chintar kotha.

Chintar ki ache? Simple thakbi best thakbi.

Kachkola.

Dekhbi bhalo chhele pabi. Dekhte to kharap nosh.

Bhalo holei bhalo chhele pabo. naki?

Definitely.

Faltu kotha.

Amar moto bhalo nao pete parish.

Isssh re, ki j hobe tahole amar.

Ami achi to. Ne na.

Eesssh. Ma go, thak.

Tui ki chaash amrita?

Janina. Bhalobaste hoyto.

Amio chai.

Chol tai kori.

Sottyi? Ami kintu bhishon bhalobaste pari.

:)

Haschish?

:D to ki korbo?

Let me love you.

J bhabe bhabchish se bhabe hoyna.

Tobe r ki? Nacho. Nirosh kothakar.

&*^%$ shala.

Sottyi bol, bhalobaste parbi?

Janina, se sahosh r nei aj. Bhanga ayna...

Bujhi. Bhishon bhabe bujhi. sigh

sigh

Ki holo abar tor? Dibbi chili j.

Dhur bhallagena. Chol prem kori.

Abar prem? Atokkhon ki korchi?

Eta prem? Dur. Chol prem kori. Aj icche hoeche.

Shala &*^%$@.

Nije ki? :D

:D

II

words wrap you in a calm engagement

brain gets wed to imagination

call what you will this narcissistic night

but faces fail to find appropriation.

lost

in splendor

whispers of love

I

Drops of joy threaten to invade

A realm cut across with pain

I know he misses me in his heart

Who sends me whispers in the rain

Plea to my Rain

Come rain! wash me anew

I pray to you

With open palms and arms

Thrown upwards in

Sheer pain

Come rain!

I cannot hide my tears

Nor my forlorn fears

As the music of water

Flows by in ecstacy

And drown my heart

In waves of lost dreams

False beliefs, cherished gleams.

Come into my arms

And hide your drenched soul

Enwrap me in your cares

Come rain, I belong to you

No one to part us dares.

He knows not I exist

He knows not my name

He cares not who am I

Nor whether I remain.

We fall alone my dear rain

We embrace our untamed souls

I merge with you tonight

And form a droplet whole.

Embrace me tight

Absorb my heart

Absorb the essence of me

So that I may scatter away

Farther off than he.

Stuck

Is it all gone, I ask?

Is it really all gone?

Time is running past

I am left aghast

Standing against time.

Tides wash by

In currents, so fast.

I have been standing here

At the same spot

For a year

Despite all negatives

And a heart full of fear.

I have been here

Very much here.

Moments I relive

In our undefined realm

Of songs unsung

Tunes unharped ...

Yet moments shared

As the Divine governs

On our speechless lips.

Our eyes never failed

To convey the unspoken

A hidden smile

Barely noticed

Shining faces

A golden glow of happiness

Untouched by the world.

Purity in its purest form.

Where does our story go?

Time flies in mirthless tides

Eyes dont see and facts dont match

And in a strange blade we catch

Your hands locked in else's hand.

Heart and love seem like quicksand

Move On,You Fool!

Rages the spectator stand.

A strange pure belief lurks so ...

Unbelieving and a confused doe

I look at mine and your distant hand ...

And in the same spot still I stand.

Love, Destiny and Blood

I am a little blind mouse

Living on a wide chess board

And scuttling across the grid

With all might I can afford.

He sits across the table

With a playmate, like a kid;

He plays with her my Destiny

Placing my fate on a lid.

My eye of love is the bet

Dirty, old and blind

They pick me up by my tail

And place me as assigned

On a black or white

For all I know

I am so deadly blind.

My little heart is pawned next

As quivering cold I stand

He laughs and plans his next move

And picks me up on a hand.

A cold steel blade I feel next

Beside my red little heart

I know not who won who lost

Neither the game's fair start.

They threw my little body away

In a rotting garbage can

On a blotted chessboard

Lay my heart

And the garbage was picked by a van.

They reveled in the funny game

And in high spirits made love

My heart gave out spurts of blood

As my eyes appeared Above.

A Nocturnal Abhishar

Clusters of stars spread across the night

Like a necklace of diamonds torn and

Scattered like drops of water dripping

From her freshly bathed wet hair

Fragrant and mystic like the black spells

Of tanvi ratri, the sorceress of desire.

I can hear your songs on the night air

As you breathe deep in the nostalgia

Of the moments we have lived together

And woven a basket of well loved time.

What do you sing, O musician? My bird?

I can hear the sweet music of your rhyme.

There comes the charmer of the night

My beloved thief with the sword of moon

A careless whistle on his lips, so well tuned,

He comes stealthily to seize my dreamless sleep,

Pick all the scattered diamonds of the dark night

And stud them on my skin, lit up with sparkling stars.

Wet hair welcome his eager face into a shanth embrace.

the sea-man

a wide old sea

and a stupid man

a stupid man was he

who knew not how

nor knew not who

knew not when was he

brought along to the sea shore

and made to live there he.

a wide blue sea

full of songs and

full of saga be

the stupid old man

was found therein

amidst the deep blue sea.

the sea the man

the man the sea

a stupid sea was he

that he loved himself

and not the sea

a part of who was he.

the wide old sea

and the lost man

such insane was he

he knew not how

he knew not why

love anyelse than he.

a stupid man

a silly man

loved by the sea.

Prothom Bristi

Abesh bhore bristi elo andhar alo mekhe

Jabe bujhi kon konner chokhe te jol rekhe

Dupur belae andhar khelae akash galo dheke

Bristi elo jhomjhomiye shukno mati dekhe.

Shohor tokhon bhijche vorey joler akul gaane

Dogdho hoa dupur bhashe kaker kalo snane.

Bristi elo hurmuriye thanda hawa beye

Janala dhore bhijche tokhon akti kalo meye.

Pagol hawa joriye takey korche matamati

Tar mukh bhije jae bristi hawae,ekla khelar sathi.

Bristi fota, jhaak bedhey sob asche dole dole

Chhobe j tar somosto ta, bhijiye debar chhole.

Dheur pore dheu utheche bristir jhake jhake

Akla meye ka k khojey adim megher faakey?

Bristi bhashey tar buke teo onno kothao bose

Hoyto sheo bhijche eka emoni abeshe.

Tar chokhe te kar mukh aj bhashey bristi bhorey?

Kalo meyer hridoy jurey brishti namey jorey.

Brishti bheja chul beye tar namey joler sur

Bristi bheja shohor tokhon joler neshae chur.

Bristi elo bristi elo bristi jhake jhake

Dui prante dui ti manush joler chhobi akey.

Leprachaun's Gold

A pot of gold

heaped like love

dazzling, rich and precious

singing of dreams

sparkling visions of luxury

Luck lust love loy

A pot of golden joy

Golden coins heaped

like leaves of autumn

spread on a bed of smiles

Chunks of yellow metal

all shapes and size

gleaming like desires

of a fresh beginning.

Gold that vanishes

Leprachaun's gold

O Godly demon

of desires unperishable

and dreams that mislead.

whose wealth were you?

whose love were you?

Hoping against hope

in a sea of grey losses

raging waves of despair

watery eyes searching for light.

a drop of yes somewhere

an acceptance possibly?

Hoping against hope

bhangon

Aayna ki sotti kotha bole?

Koto gulo bochhor periye galo

Ajo eka lorai kore jacchi nijer sathe.

Tumi chhile, tobu to chhile go.

Hoyto oshantite, mitthye obhijoge

Opomane o bistirno teekto tae,

Tobu to chhile.

Tobe ki bhul korlam kichu?

Ato gulo bochhor aksathe,

Maniye nebar chesta ofuran

Bhalobeshe cholar sudirgho chesta

Gochhano songshar, sopno

Kintu sonman diley na, morjada.

Sorir k sorir chhonde melae

Icchera sobsomoy mukh chene na.

Amaro hoyto bhul chilo onek

Tobu chesta chilo, biswas koro.

Nijer shotta k bishorjon ditey r

Parini, dewale theke jaoa peeth,

R kichu griho-bondi chitkar.

Divorce paper-e shoi dite giye

Bhetor ta kede uthechilo,

Kintu tokhon r pechhobar upay nei.

Tumie to gacho hariye,

Amar bhalobashar sei jon.

Prem tuku khujte chai ajo

Kintu somosto tumi'r arale aj se r nei.

Somporke ami r nei jano?

Tomar r sondhano nei kichu.

Khub kanna pae kokhono kokhono,

Sei sopno gulor chhaya der dekhe.

Bhalo ki bashi ajo tomae?

Na, shudhu dukkho hoy tomar jonne,

Nijer jonne, amader mitthye tukur jonne.

Aayna sotti bole na, jano?

Ami ajo atke achi kothao,

Aj theke koto koto bochhor ager ami te.

Majhkhaner ei somporko

Ak obhiggota, khoto o nishwo ta.

Bhalo theko.

Intoxication

Crazy wildernesses along a brazen wall

Two eyes, intoxicated

Burning with an insane desire

To light up in dense fire

among the dark wildernesses.

Spectral fireflies, a lonesome moon

lapping up the silvery waters

dipped in lusty moonlight

spreading her wings in full.

Broken glass, scattered petals

of blood orchids and white blossom.

Rolling along dew wet grass

soiled feet and empty skin,

Black wings of night shading

the trees in secret conversation

soft whispers of the leafy caresses.

Painful idiocies left behind.

Stark reality changes realms.

Shades of cumbersome toils

left behind like decency and sunrays.

A never ending sojourn

Steams of visual illusions

Sensory hallucinations

And a burning under the skin

on silent nights and heavy air

palpitating in the fragrance of aamer-bol.

Wilderness and wild fervours.

a tramp's song

livin in a sandbox

chokin everyday

cryin out in despair

not knowin what to say.

bitin on a cracked lip

eyes pink with tears

livin in a sad box

wipin all my fears.

tellin me a cross tale

bunchin up my hair

shuttin out the sunlight

crinchin at the glare

livin in a broken well

buildin you in pasts

gatherin up the memories

waitin in the dusts.

How long does it take?

How long exactly does it take

To look at someone and get

Stuck at a point of no-return?

To forget where, when, how

And just for once,

Surrender,

To those eyes without a damn

Care for any pretensions,

awkward deliberations and facades.

Just a surrender into the soothening

cool waves of peace and intense

Joy that seeps inside a soul.

Can one hide what is linked

To your blood,your very existence?

Can one negate one's truth?

How long shall it take for him

To wake up from stabbing oblivions

And throw away his ghostly mask?

How long shall he risk to bear

Treading along broken glasses that

Bleeds us to reddened deaths?

O break the silence before we sink!

a sign

i want to wake up

on a lotus dawn

and ope my eyes

to gaze and fawn

upon a face

that would loom

above mine

and make me bloom

like a mystic ray

of sylvan light

or spread wings

in golden flight.

i could just look

smile and smile

paint a colour bridge

for a hundred mile

i still can feel on

my breath

intoxicating odour

of the magic wreath

of words and glances

unspelt glee-s

at meaningful gaps

prayers and pleas

call it belief

ignorance or fate

i am still on the wait

and would want

to know of you

if flames and hopes glow

on the other side too

Weeping Shadows

Strange feelings ...

Trackless thoughts

Enter my blocked head

Create a ruckus within.

Stop! I yell: No more!

But the heart is deaf,

Ever has been.

Thoughts that ruin me

inside, emerge from

nowhere and fill me

through and through.

In closed eyes I see

none but a faceless

shadow of you.

Clouds and watery eyes...

Hands reach out unknowingly

To receive a sad palm.

I forcefully close my eyes,

To block out the known

deep deep look that

enters my soul and

drinks me down with love

and empties me of all fear.

THOU SHALT NOT

TRESPASSERS SHALL BE PROSECUTED

I step back

And close my eyes

Only to find an embrace

A warm close embrace

girdling my soul like

an twirling creeper

of passion-flowers.

And I melt

All alone ...

I feel warm tears

running down my body

from the back of my neck

as if someone holds me in

a hug and cries uncontrollably.

Why do I feel thus, why?

I look out to the moonless sky

That returns an empty stare.

Strange thoughts fill up my mind.

And heaves the night air,

with sobbing breaths and

restless eyes, expressionless faces.

O do not ask what the heart

finds in such felt teary embraces.

morning blues

its a beautiful morning,
one that could kiss you,
in its golden sunlight,
cold air that would face you,
could soothe your
cramped mind
and remind you of dreams
misspelt and left behind.

you wish you could cry
atleast sob aloud
but your eyes remain dry,
like faint summer clouds.
you know you had loved,
you know you hadnt erred,
you're confused how you went wrong,
and what you had seen and heard.

the morning becomes prettier,
and as enchanting a seraphim,
that tears just might roll out,
and release the stream within.

My Beloved Place

Presidency. Presidency College, Kolkata. College Street. Boi-para. The gate. The huge tree beside it. Main building. Lover’s lane. Avenue of shady walks and the great destination called the Tank, where something funny is sure to meet your eyes or atleast some chaapa flowers scattered, enticing you to pick them up. Our postgraduate dept. Every morning I rush like a lunatic for a class, either ending up for an empty class as or an already ongoing class. Sorry, sir … Madam, may I …

Shantiniketan. Admission test. Overheard some girls talking about interview at Presidency the very next day. Exam. Evening. Rushing back home. The department’s computer room. I knew I’ll not get through anyway. So, I may as well be a little cheeky. It’s a lost case. ACM,DB,PR,MA,SD. Intertextual questions, basic questions and my huge answers, referring back to the epics. Everyone listening to me. I laughed aloud suddenly. Things easened up. Clear vibes that I got through. I was leaving. As I shut the door behind, I heard a chorus – o ki bhalo,na? First love. Presidency.

My choice of leaving science and opting for love, literature, was justified in one word. Presi?!!

Our story began. Open friendships. Trying to know people. Trying to understand what and how ACM and DKB taught. Half things going over the head but then, the mesmerizing effect. I could feel my brains being stimulated and encouraged. This is it. This is the place to be. I belong here. A strange new world of intellectualism and ideas, everything that I felt but was refused earlier, came back and got grounds this time. I felt so connected, so intellectually supported and at home. I believed in me once again. Land of faith. I wasn’t alone here.

Presidency gave me a spine – to rise and fight back and come out from a relationship I had been suffering for 4 yrs. An abusive relationship that I had given my best to. Each and every rope I had tied fell loose and I broke, like a glass doll. Till December I suffered. The gap behind canteen -- hide, weep, insults. Presidency te giye to khub nongrami shikhecho. Chhi chhi. Agey koto lokkhi shanto chile. Akhon? @#$%^&*!$&((*^)#$ Presi hugged me with empty alleys, the Geography dept. balcony and a golden sunshine by which I promised I will kill myself. But the very next day, when I was supposed to leave this world, Presi showed me a reason to live, a little love. I lived. I gained.

The roads and walks and pathways around Presi knows my life almost. Each path has many stories, moments, events, incidents, scattered laughter and insane jokes. Friends. The best ones I have got in my entire life. As close as school buddies. A motherly girl and some lovely ladies who would want me as a sister. So much comfort they gave me. And naming me, Virgin Queen which I choose to take as compliment. Food, guys, trees, numerous dogs, garbage, sudden temples, libraries, derozio hall. And some awesome viva days! Some moments to remember.

Two years. Presidency has given me knowledge. I have always felt Presi is my saviour – intellectually, emotionally, even physically. I changed my look slightly here though no weight loss, sadly. And guys! Nice fan following in two years. Wow! Facebbok. Farmville. My beloved blog. October posts. And some of the best creations of my life till date. Dreams and wild conjectures. A half dreamt story … certain simple, ecstatic joys -- romantic, clean and pure.

Leaving Presidency.

It is one word now that has got mixed up with strong emotions of love, hope, dreams, illusions, brokenhearts, adda, stupidity, strong ideas, beliefs, efforts and sheer, sheer love – literature and the people around literature. Words and the lack of it. Chaos and eros.

Presi -- I’m yours.

Kontho

Dana mele ora amar riti
Dokhin hawa amar odhikar
Roktey amar boiche saat somudrer dheu
Jodi kache astey chao keu
To toiri theko uthal-pathal hawae
R neel akasher dakey.
Thakbo ami ranga gulmohore
Kono kalboishakhir unmadonae.
Thakbo tomar chokito sopne
Ba omogh kolponae.
Ami j nibir, ami j gohon
Boro prio, bhishon gopon.
Ami dhulo, ami nishaash
Ami jatona, ami asshash.
Ami unmadona, ami prottoy
Ami mostishko, ami hridoy.
Ami bayu, ami gaan
Ami kabbo, ami pran.
Ami prem, ami dhyan
Ami shanti, ami gyan.
Ami manoshee, ami dabi,
Shoto boddho duare jadu-chabi.
Ami chorom o porom
Ami lirlojja o shorom.
Ami deen, ami heen,
Ami kono shayerir nausheen.
Ami sadhona, ami sadhika,
Amie prem, kishori radhika.
Projapotir alo hoe jabo tomae ghirey
R ushno agun ese dogdhabe
Balir shwet shubhro anweshwon.
Prem
Mrittyu
Jeebon

A Declaration

*

I have come into the world

To live, to laugh, to light

Up the days of some lives.

The dark cobwebs of remorse

Try to bog me down.

I refuse

To budge, to die out,

To be torn asunder.

I have only loved

And I am not ashamed.

**

It is not a fault to love

And make oneself happy.

Love is all we live for

And live by – a personal emotion.

What is it that belongs to you?

And is entirely yours?

What at all?

Only words and frames of signifiers

That expresses the deepest

Desires and intensities within.

***

I have seen the purity

Of lovely morning mists

And shy poinsettias blush.

And I have felt upon my skin

The odour of kindling passions

And intoxicated moonlights.

I have not erred

I have not sinned

I have just loved

The beauty and the bliss.

****

The rainbows may have left me

But I am drenched in its hue.

I cannot be angry and restless

Nor can I ever dislike you.

Prized, precarious and destined

You are, if at all, a piece of

My diamond dews and crystal affections.

*****

I long for a shower of rain

That could drench in watery blossom

And embrace me tightly in its

Comforts, in its caring manly bosom.

And pounce upon my dry lips

For a hungry mesmerized spell.

I have come to laugh, to live

And trouble your heart so well.

Rog

Basanto esechilo sedin

sei bhora ashwiner

kuashar orna jorano bhorey.

Jokhon upodrob chilo

tulo megher, neel akasher buke,

kichu dustu premer beejer moto.

Tukro tukro meghera tokhon

ghaser boney ful futiyechilo.

Tokhon hariye jawa ak nabik

hotat sondhan peyechilo

kono daruchini dwiper.

R basanto esechilo

chardikey praner plabon niye.

Aj ritu-chokre eseche bosonto,

gache gache praner sonchar,

jongla gachh fule matowara,

shudu osomoyer bosonto tuku

aj dhongshe porinoto,

kono deho-posharinir premer moto.

Shudhu kono rikto bhogno

murtir moto khov o kostey

tar ahoto obosthan.

Sei bosonto shudui ak

bhranto kolpona chilo.

Ak onamni meyer

hariye jawar upakkhan ....

jiggasa

Khub icche kore

ak bar

shudu ekti bar

khub kache jai

ak bar

shudu ekti bar

chokhe chokh rakhi

gole jak

charipash hotat

shudhu ak bar

nirnimesh

opolok sei dristi-te

khuji tar ortho

se ki keboli

nirmom ak upohash?

nisthur roktopat?

ekti bar khuji

tar chokhe

ekti bar kebol

shudhu ekti proshno

rakhi tar kache --

ki oporadh chilo amar

kano aj bondini ami

amari bhul badhone?

aral

Bhaggish noishobdo ra chilo

noile ami kichu tei aral petam na

nijer bhul bhranti r bokami gulo

bishal akare dhora pore jeto.

Jeno kan pete shunchilam

onner premalap, ba gopon

kono alapcharita, gohon

kamatur goponiyo tae jano

onuprobesh kari, tader

birokti ghrina r dwesh

puriye dite pare amar shorir.

Bhaggish noishobdo ra chilo,

noile ami j bhul kokkhe dhuke

porechilam, sei paap amar khoma

kora jetona kichu tei.

Ami sei moithun drishyo theke

sorey esechi durey, bhito,

sontrosto, onutopto.

Hae hae hae; ki lojja!

Ami kano kichu shobdo

kichu kothar mayae joralam

ja amar noy, poro-kriyae

onuprobesh karini boner pakhi,

k bolechilo tokey upobone dhukte?

Bhaggish noishobdo ra chilo.

Amar kolponar noishobde

chilo neerob garho onubhuti,

atmo-somorpon o nishchinto nibirota,

sei olik kolponar noishobder

chadore nijer glani dheke aj

amar mukhor mugdhota polatok.

Roktakto ak molinota pore thak,

kono mrito akulotar sesh chinho.

Kagojer Sesh Golpo

Ak deshe chilo ak chotto kagojer putul. Ektu domrano tar kagojer chehara ta, ektu kochkano, jor hawae tar kagojer shada ga ektu muchre gache. Ta ki r kora, se kintu sei chotto meyeti roilo, kagojer putul. Nam? Dhora jak Kagji. Kagji tar baba ma k niye thakto. Tar baba mayer gaye koto kotha lekha, babbah! Koto aki buki, chhera fata, futow ache kichu, rong kichu ache, kichu dhue gache. Tar baba mayer gaye besir bhag dukkher golpo r onek chestar golpo. Kagji obak hoe shunto. Tar mone hoto se nijeo golpo banabe, sundor golpo, sopnomoy golpo, joyer golpo. Kagji tar choto shada sorir-tar opor ghosha daag gulo dekhto. Ogulow tar golpo. Tar etodiner kotha.

Kagji akta kagojer putul. Duti binuni, ekti frock porihita choto ak meye. Kagojer rong shada. Kintu ichher rong edik odik pore thake. Kichu taal patar sepaai ashey, chesta kore Kagji k sei ronge sajate. Kagjir boyei gache. Se ki taal-patar sepia chae? Se chae ronger jadukori, sopner rongin alpona aka thakbe tar shada gae. Choto meye, tar melai sokh. Akbar se ak taaler sepaai-r theke rong niyechilo kintu eesh ki baje rong. Se chesta koreo makhte pareni se rong. Kagji jane sepaai ra tar moton noy. Ora onno rokom.

Kagjir deshe akdin mela boshlo. Onek boro mela. Se mela prochur anando, prochur jinish. Desh bidesh theke balloon elo, kagojer aro putulera elo, basher khelna elo, matir putul elo, kacher putulo elo. Elo manusher dol sei somosto khelna, putul, baanshi r tupir poshra niye. Tader koto rokom khela. Keu keu ghurio dekhalo. Kagoj noy kintu omni patla plastic kamon akashe orey. Kagji kintu akashe urte parbe na. se hariye jabe j. Besi hawa dilei se jabe urey, kono dewale byatha pabe, chhirey jabe, moyla hoe jabe. Kagji boro adurey. Se oto kosto soibe kamon kore? Na na. Kagji tai nijeke halka akta dheele bedhe rekheche. Oi tar niyom, tar mot, tar adorsho. Oi badhon khulle se bheshe jabe niyotir kalo andhare. Ak domka hawae oi polka kagojer manush tuku sesh. Kagji shudu obak hoe dakhe r shekhe.

Oi manusher dole Kagji dekhlo ak rong beronger manush. Lokey takey bole shong. Kagji obak chokhe takey dekhte thake. Kia k odbhut manush se. Sara dehey tar ronger chhota, kintu thik kamon jeno. Thik sobar moton noy. Se ektu kachh theke dekhtei jae bepar khana ki? Jei na takey dekha, hotat takey shong dile soriye. Kagji bhari dukkhu pele. Tarpor sorey giye bhable e ki? Dukkho pelam kano? Na na. E ki? Se dekhle tar samne kotto rong. Ektu khani se makhle thote. Achha thak. Se chole jae okhan theke.

Ghurte ghurte thik abar Kagji dekhe samne sei shong. Ebar r shong takey tarae na. Se dekhate thake nana rokom khela. Rongin sopno buney chole se hawae. Sobai tali dae r Kagji kamon odbhut ak ghore chole jae. Ojantei. Tar kamon mone hotey thake ei sob tar jonno. Ei mela, ei etto jinish, ei shong, shonger sob khela, shonger rong, shonger dhong, melar gondho sob tar. Se opekkha kore. Kiser, kano, se jane na. Se rong makhte thake. Notun notun ronge se seje othey praae. Sobai bole kano eto saj? Kiser sopno bunish tui? Ato rong makhchis kano tui kagojer putul hoe? Kagji kichu bole na. Se bujhi peyeche kichur sondhan. Hijibiji kuchikuchi lekhae bhore othey tar binuni duti. Sari sari sopner shuto diye jaal bune se mayar chador jorae. Prithibi rongin hoe othey r Kagji bhison lojja pae, anmone. Sob-e to tar, se jane.

Tarpor akdin ak sundor gari ashe. Rajkumari nabey sei tomtom theke. Shong tar songey chole jae. Se j rajkumarir shong. Eto sobai jane. Desh shuddhu lok. Ei mela Rajkumarir jonne. Eto rong, eto anando, sobi tar upolokkhe. Shong to tari nijer manush. Putul gulow sei rajkumarir rope dishe hara. Sobai k mugdho kore tara biday nae.

Ki korbe Kagji ebar? Kadbe? Na na na na. Ekdom na. Kagojer putulder to kadte nei. R kadbei ba kano se? Tar kiser dukkho? Se to nije nijei akta bishal boro mitthye sopner shuto chhoracchilo. Ebar sei shuto tei nije jorie morche. Ta te dukkher ki ache? Eto tar prappo saja. Tar shasti. Kagojer putul hoe tar atokhani dhrishto ta? Tar to koto bhaggo j desher manush takey chhirey fele daeni. Chotto akta kagojer meye tar abar koto sokh. Ish, ato rong se mekhechilo? Ato saj kano? Ki sob kilbiley lekha tar gaye? Chii chhi. Laj nei, shorom nei, behaya kagojer putul kothakar. Chhhi!!! Sobi mitthye mitthye mitthye mitthye. Sob tar dosh. Chhhi!!! Shong ki bhablo takey? Rong mekhe chola ak nongra kagojer putul? Jar dam nei, nam nei, ostitto nei. Shong kebol rogor dekheche r bhebeche ki boka, ki orthoheen unmad hote pare akti samanno kagojer putul. Putulero kina sesh obdi … hahahahaha … chhi chhi chhi chhi chhi …

Lojja lage Kagjir boddo. Khub lojja lage. E ki koreche se? Kano koreche se? Jokhon sara duniyar lok takey akrokom shuniyeche se karo kothae biswas koreni. Tar nijero onekbar mone hoeche jano esob tar jonne noy, tobuo se kon oshomo sahoshe bhor kore nijeke sajiyeche? Rong mekheche? Nijeke amon koreo keu opoman kore bujhi? Atotao niche namae keu nijeke? Holoi ba se kagojer meye. Tai bole nijer atto-sonman bole ki kichui nei Kagjir? Chhi !!!!

Ebar upay? Se to akta upay bar kora chai. Tar badhon dawa dheeler shuto chhirey Kagji nijeke hawae bhasiye dilo. K bole hawa kagojer shotru? Hawar moton porom bondhu r ache bujhi? Ei to aj hawa tei muktir sondhan pelo se. Chotto kagojer putulti ak jor domka hawae bheshe chollo. Urte urte urte se opore uthte laglo. Praae megher kachakachi. Se megher rong kalo.

Hotat bristi namlo. Kagji bhije galo. Pore galo matite. R golte laglo boro boro bristir fotae. Kagoj gole rokto berote thaklo. Boite laglo se rokto paharer gaa beye. Jhornar jole mishe galo ta. Golapi borno dharon korlo se jol. Garo hote laglo se borno. Kagojer gayeo rokto thake bujhi?

Kagji puro goley gache. Se r nei.

Magic Lamp

A hope

A flame

Burning gold

On a tiny lamp ablaze

The cold wind came

and blew it out

Still did it amaze

The flame

died out

And burst forth again

By no obvious logic

Maybe thats why

they call it

Hope

The love-lamp of magic.

A Note

Looking back again and again

at past moments and magic spells,

wondering if they shall ever be

back and I would have those sudden

seconds of pure ecstasy ever again.

A strange fluttering sensation

within a restless heart

and a feeling of loss somewhere.

I had found a world of unknown

joys and happiness like a dream.

A story weaved by destiny

A dream in words covered in silence.

A dance of imaginations melted into

a reality and fusion of felt similarities,

basking under the same sunshine

looking at the same tiara of the night

from either ends of the rainbow bridge

mysterious smiles,people wondering,trackless...

O I can live by the memories

they make me so happy and I shine

like a little star on the dark wish of night.

Be happy, wherever you are,

whatever you do, and find soulful peace.

May all and all and all your dreams come true.

I thank you for every little drop

of magic that has come in a life

torn, tattered and wounded cruelly.

Thanks for showing that dreams are not dead

and fairy tales do exist.

The world is not a bad place and some emotions

and feelings are as genuine as

i dont know

maybe, love?!

The Symbolic Realm

Would you want to walk into
a tender moment
when the earliest hours
of a promising dawn
peep through the dark curtains
of night and show the delicate
skin of her eyelids
lined with shy sleep?

Would you want to wake up
on a regular morning
full of drab jobs ahead,
to the sunrays playing on her face?
You shade her skin with a hand
that protects and caresses,
as she snuggles up a bit more,
all untidy, messy yet innocent.

Would you want to live through a dusty
day full of travel and tiresome troubles
and crisscross work tables conjoined
at the hips -- pending and reserved?
Yet interwoven with shades of a
laughter and surprised, enveloped messages
across a cup of coffee or sunday cooking together.

Would you hope to share her thrills at
a consumerist evening, window-shopping?
Or would you want to put a rose
in her hand on her stressed days
and surrender in her silly comforts
when you have had a stupid problem?

Would you love to lick an icecream
and walk with her through roads
choked with traffic jam, giving a damn
to the spaceless inferno around,
when you have her and your own feet
to walk on, and this heavily junk city.

Would you close your eyes and drench
yourself in the first monsoon rain
or a sudden shower that would tell
stories of a childhood, or a college memory
or some distant forgotten melodies?
Would you close your eyes and remember
the first love of your life or an old poem?
Interlocked fingers, old stories, drops of rain on faces

Would you desire to light a candle
and float it in a glass bowl,
water decked with rose petals?
A soft music plays in your heart
as you hold her close, too close
and a slow dance
shadows shivering on the walls...

Would you want a walk
under the silver moonlight,
hand in hand and a content whispering
of wet grass under your feet, about
a completeness found under the sylvan skies?

Its all here
in this beautiful life.
Come
Unlock
the chest of mysteries.

Seed

I fold my legs

dig my chin into my knees

and close my fists tight.

Shut my eyes

close my ears

reduce myself

into a foetus

and wish I was never born

being undone thus.

Half weeping

half hoping

half awake

half sleeping

unnerved

scared

fearing a loss

deep inside.

I stretch out my arms

and want to belong

want to be loved

and cared for

a kiss

a tender touch

a breath of assurance.

Where do I find a shelter

for my hurt being?

Cut into pieces and scattered

over the dust and burnt.

I can only weep

and turn like a wheel

from love to despair

from dreams to loss

and be left alone

to put back everything

like a jigsaw puzzle.

I want to go back

into the dark amniotic sac

and the cerebral presence

the umbilical cord

my trace into the womb.

Better still

the zygotic meosis stopped

and me only a possibility.

An idea of a daughter.

Undo me

O undo me, mother!

connections

The mind sets on its own journey

when the heart trembles softly

at the soft buds of blossoms white.

Passions about to bloom at dawn.

Closed eyes see, hear and feel

words, dialogues and essences

that have not any foundings in

reality. Dismissed as idle dreams

they float on heavy air and fade.

Only to come back sometime later

as reality in a sweetly surprised

world of truths and tactile existence.

I wonder how that happens.

Interconnection of thoughts...

moulded into actions and existences...

a connection that cannot be whisked away

as another idle thought or wishful thinking.

Being together on another level

not merely imaginary but perhaps telepathic.

How much has unconscious connections unlocked?

Not merely the heart but a chunk of mind.

What would we call it? what can it be called?

Wonder if you too can feel my bliss

and breath in the air around you.

Wonder if I can listen to your heartbeat

by touching my own pulse ....

The Name

A moment

strikes

like blue lightning

and freezes

in an instant

the throbbing mind

the restless heart

the anxious thoughts

and unquiet silences

framed upon panes of

memories and yearnings.

Fingers had touched

on wet sand

the Name.

The air has breathed

the words many times

with its soulful existence.

The flowers have shaken

their yellow petals

to trace the Name

etched on the soft soil.

A timeless ageless act

rehearsed over and over again.

Over mountains and oceans

rivers and terrains

of green or brown

or ash

the mind has run like

wild beasts

or supersonic sound,

looking for the Name

one has lost or fears to lose.

And then

the moment

that was awaited

with trembling perfection

arrives

and freezes

like

eternity.

Eyes do not meet.

Breathing halts.

Only an invisible

string binds something

somewhere in a deep embrace.

Never to untie again

Not in this life.

Nameless

Beyond closed lids in intimate darkness

A face sketches itself in light

Crayons of moments past

Fills its unmasked expressions

Of unrepressed joy and surrender

Submission to the feelings frothing

underneath an exterior carefully made-up.

Drowning in layers of silk and

chocolatey butter bliss and kiss

of unnamed smiles drenched with

purple mystery and lavender breaths,

I ask myself questions that have

no answers or perhaps lack the answerer.

Words and the power of words.

Faith and the quest of belief.

Trust and the strength of enamour.

The brown darkness engulfs all senses

and shows me deep inside

the silver arc yearning completion.

City chorus

i stand alone by the pavements

and watch my city flow by

my heartless city

my city of joy

where are you now

where will you be when i

find myself locked away in

the past tense after some time

some lives and moments later?

i seek refuge in farmville fields

and till some lands, fertilise them

tend my animals

and collect gifts and valentines

from my mailbox and Cupid's castle

i'm pretty as a princess here

and have no cares in the world

i leave you my city for a virtual farm

homelands

my small town

my large trees and scattered traffic

honking rickshaws and

blaring cars

chilled mornings and dusky lusts

migratory birds filling these skies

my desire to live life

You have given me lots

my dirty city

a lot of experience and emotions

a lot of throbs and smiles

you have returned to me lost faith

belief, destiny and love

poems and creations

secrets and melodies

my wonder woman

my joyous company

pockmarked beauty

and a romantic damsel

chander dheu

Chander srot bhese jae

nirob nodir garo goponio ta chhue.

Ami chhip fele bose thaki

majh doriyae

akta sopno dhorar akankhae.

Chander guro guro alo rupoli

spordha makhiye dae machher gae,

tara khele jae dheu-r niche,

kono gurho nihitarther moto.

Sopno othey na borshi te,

thirthir kore mogno hawa

shudu sporsho kore jae.

Shobdo hoe otha shorir chhue

Chander srot boye jae.

Lonely Hour

This is I guess my lonely hour

as I touch the wind and try to feel

the moistness beneath your calm.

I look around with empty eyes

as you submerge within the nothingness.

A hint of being, a dreg of hope

is all I lust for.

For the second coming.

I feel you gone and perhaps

this is the end of something

burnt and bred and moulded and shaped

and chiselled and framed and painted

with a thousand raging colours

flooded with passion and intimacy.

O why do I hope? Why do I dream?

For another beginning somewhere?

After an existence with mortal wounds

A drop of peace and honest acceptance,

of whoever I am, whatever I am, a caricature,

incomplete and stupid, lazy and imperfect.

But then, I am scared and fear again

the ending close by and all gone.

It doesnt matter however as some words

can only give, and not expect to receive.

I can only hope to be hypnotised again.

I guess this is my lonely hour

A mind in deja vu

Touching collages of so many songs

and an unusual little story.

Little girl, little girl, where have you been?

I have been to London to look at the Queen.

Meeting Her

She was waiting for me. As soon I laid my eyes on her from a distance I could see her waiting patiently, yet an anxious eagerness filled her grey body as she mildly smiled in the orange sunlight around her. The sun spread his powdered gold on her slow waves and the light caressed her softly with intense love. I went closer to her and she smiled affectionately. She held me in a light embrace with her winds that touched me and soothed my face. I surrendered to her calm invitation. Water was lapping the last step of the ghaat. I went down to the very end and sat on the dried earth that had come with the waves and settled on the bricks. Ganga was flowing by. Pieces of plastic, bottles and other crap were floating down her body and she wore a very dirty colour but still she was pretty, like a woman in love, like a mother. I smiled at her. She was beckoning me into her lap. I went close to her and dipped my feet into her waters. My feet instanty felt the chill of her cold caresses. As if she is so eager, so intent to absorb all the heat in my body and cool me down, give me peace and calm. The cold waters absorbed my feet in their magical adulations. I looked at them. They seemed so happy, as if finally they have found a place to absolve their grim sorrows. A place where they can tell their complaints and grieve over things that cannot be undone. And they slowly lost their heat in the charming coldness. I stared at my own happy feet. For the first time in my entire life, they seemed beautiful to myself. As if they have been loved by the soft waves. Through the water I saw them, resting at perfect peace. The river has cleaned it of all its tired pains and has kissed it with new vigor and beauty. The waves began to rise above the steps now. They crept above my feet and slowly climbed up my legs. Jowar has come. Tides.

Old lady, you have been flowing for ages, for thousands of years. You have been part and parcel of so many stories, of so many lives through hundreds of years. You have touched the shores of almost half India. You have been worshipped, used, molested, cleansed and discarded yet loved and praised. Mother of half the civilization of India; witness and party to history, you flow by with nonchalance and perfect poise. Yet you have broken homes and flooded villages, drowned them all and created something somewhere else. Maker and destroyer. Vaishnavi and Shivangi – patit pavni Ganga. Industrial waste bearer Ganga, an essential way of purgation – your waters – and herein I dip my feet – dirty Ganga, pure Ganga.

I picked up my feet after a long long time and looked at them. They have turned fairer I found and were glistening in the wet sunlight. Red nailpolish adorned my feet in a suhagan way. As if its Ganga who had painted my nails with a lot of care and suhag. I felt like a bride whose feet has been dipped in mehendi or alta before her first grihaprabesh into her new home. And the wet foot marks are supposed to be a ceremonial entrance into a new life. I smiled at my own footprints on the dry steps. Ganga has soothed me, calmed me deep inside and thrown me into a trance. As I had dipped my feet into her waves, I had become a part of her history, her many stories and her essential being. I have Ganga inside me now. Born on Ganga-puja day, my dida always said I belong to her, I am her boon. She has blessed me today and washed my feet, decked them and sent me back to land -- to start a new life, a new tryst; like a daughter to on her bridal journey to an unknown destiny that has been so carefully bred in dreams.

aloron

Bhetor theke shara jage

Dhoni othe buker majhe

Jokhon bhoy pabar kotha

Hridoye tokhon madol bajey.

Sesh hocce prohor ebar

Ghonta bujhi bajlo jore

Tokhon emon elopathar

Golpo elo rokto bhore.

Hiyar majhe sur utheche

janina ta kano bajey,

Ayna prohor gunche chokhe,

Chuler majhe apni sajey.

Srot eseche mora gange,

jibon bhore plabon aney.

Prem eseche

Dukul bhore

Akash jure tarar bani.

Kokhon elo ki ba jani?

Sedin jano asche kache

Orna dhaka hridoy nache.

Hoyto sob-e oleek maya

Hoyto sob-e kaler chhaya.

Mon manena, mon manena

Shudhui jani asche se din.

Nirobota sur tuleche

ochin desher pakhi hoe.