In your eyes
Friday, December 31, 2010
In your eyes
Thursday, December 30, 2010
Monday, December 27, 2010
Saturday, December 25, 2010
Friday, December 24, 2010
partying at fests
and blood lights
carnivalesque throbs (and I dont care what Bakhtin says, its my poem)
body aches (do not misinterpret)
sliding down the shadows.
And yet an emptiness
in the wild cries cheering
for the dazzling halloween lights
and fires in the blood.
We want to belong, we want so deep
that it bleeds inside
as we cheer and cry for some hard piercing music
tearing the night air and stabbing us
with the feel that we are one.
and desperate to join
smell of alcohol
and lost souls
in the dazed air.
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Insecure tomorrows.A career walking down the fog.I cant see beyond what is at hand.
Fear. Anxiety. Loss. More Loss.
Losing you?Losing me?Losing them?Losing us?Losing our stories?Written and unwritten texts?Lines and meanings beyond erased? Histories and hopes denied?
Afraid. Scared. Emptiness.
Humiliation and shame. I just wanted to make you smile and feel proud, so proud, of me!Performance. Fate. Chance. Love. Respect. Admiration. Hopes. Dreams. And love again ... I fail and rise and succeed and lose and win and smile and laugh and cry and fall again and rise ... I refuse to give up. I love my work. I love my self, and love them who smile at me everyday.
I know I will succeed some day and make them proud, make you happy and be happy myself.
Saturday, December 18, 2010
Muthi ta khulo na amar, haate shunno ta lekha ache.
Thursday, December 16, 2010
Monday, December 13, 2010
Between the desire
And the spasm
Between the potency
And the existence
Between the essence
And the descent
Falls the Shadow
When the evening is spread out against the sky
Like a patient etherised upon a table;
Let us go, through certain half-deserted streets,
The muttering retreats
Of restless nights in one-night cheap hotels
And sawdust restaurants with oyster-shells:
Streets that follow like a tedious argument
Of insidious intent
To lead you to an overwhelming question...
Oh, do not ask, "What is it?"
Let us go and make our visit.
Saturday, December 11, 2010
Listen to the shadows of mild December whispering under the dark trees.
The cold rain drizzles by and spreads the news of cheer on a foggy morn.
I have come a long way
I have come all alone
I know what it is to weep
Over lost pearls
It will never be mine again
Losses more losses and losses in pain
Hot smokes curl over a cup of tea as the sleeping dog dreams of a tomorrow.
Palms taste the cold and white fumes emerge from the soft breaths between shy lips.
I know it all
How it feels to be so alone
How it feels to love all alone
Unreciprocated cares and concerns
Tears wept hot
Drops of blood
Winter and love ...
A song on the radio transforms the sleeping Beauty inside to a Fairy tale of love.
An invisible presence felt nearby causes blush ... a fantasy? schizophrenia? Love?
Can feel him on the skin
Bright and burning
And drowning dreams…
Do you promise love?
Do you dare to love?
Have courage enough to close your eyes and trust?
Covers, protects, speaks, adores, embellishes, frightens, doubts, tears, kills
The answer lies before the mirror
By a game of chess
On a Shakespeherian rag ….
Do you know what slow poisoning is?
It’s like a kiss
Flows along your blood
Eyes search. Eyes wait as eyes probe into depths, swims over and under, gets flooded with words
And then, postpones.
Hearts chafe and fret, kicking chains with golden hooves and beats enormous wings!
Sunlight beneath them powders down into golden flecks and gathers around entwined destinies.
I know it
I know it all
About sad stories and hellish ashes
But then I trust you
I have faith
I feel I know you
I always did
I don’t know why
But I do
And I am waiting for you
Break the glass if you will
Or look in it deep…
I read your eyes last night
Winter comes, with a promise of faiths and close bonds.
A symphony plays on the hearts’ strings
Of smiles, and dreamy rains
And a whispered promise
To be continued….
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
hiya tuptap jiya nostal
Sunday, December 5, 2010
The brown leaves cover the blue paths
As winter breathes in and we walk quietly
Hand in hand, steps matching steps.
We don’t know that we really exist
And the white drops of flowers smile
Sadly at our peculiar ignorance or stupidity.
We keep on walking in sad steps and thinking
About things we could have, we could make,
We could be, we could gift, and we could weave
Together, had we been close enough.
We sigh in union and a shooting star passes by.
We grow sad thinking that we will not share
The lovely winter evening over a hot coffee.
The silver dawn only peeks on the sky above,
We grasp each other’s hands tighter as the fog
Surrounds us and we barely know where we stand.
We stop, puzzled, at one point, hand in hand,
Waiting, thinking, wondering where to go,
And wishing the other was there, for support.
We look up at the morning star and make a wish.
Thursday, December 2, 2010
Sonali rod, sheetol kichu aram,
r ghonibhuto chhayara
haar kapae r mone koriye dae,
ekhane kothao pore thakbe hajar smriti,
shukno pata r muchhe jawa kajol.
Kaaler buke roe jabe ei sopno-kella,
ei ghor gulor golpo, ei baranda gulo,
r tader ghire protidhonito howa
amader shohor,amader kotha-ra.
R kichu dheke rakha hashi makha itihash.
Amader jiboner sotti gulo
shohoj noy, bastob gulo sob alada.
Jeebon tene niye jabe kon srote
ta janina, hariye jabo, chirotore,
onno kothao, onno kono khane.
Kichu asha o chahida boro kothin,
boro obujh, boro maya-moy.
Bhalolagar abesh tuku poritripto
korbe kichu muhurto, kichu khon,
tarpor logenze-r wrapper-r moto chhure
fele debe tumi kono porittokto dustbin-e.
Traffic light green signal dilei
druto paar hoe jabey rasta,
firey takanor somoy tuku kar ache?
Ochin baul sur dhorbe jokhon dotarae
kono goriye chola trainer kamrae,
chokh bujleo tokhon khuje pabena
kono fele asha mukh, jiboner kono prantey.
Haata khunti, jama kapor, bus tram-e
kokhon mishe jabe tel ghaam sindur.
Alu-sobjir torkari te kalo-jeere foron diye
kokhon periye jabe ful kurabar bela,
r hariye jabe kobitar khata tukuo.
Kono ak sondhyae chhadey asbo tokhon,
akasher chotto taara gulo k dekhbo
r bhabbo, ei smriti gulor rong sur maya.
Hariye jawa kobita gulo k khujbo akbar
buker bhetor, chetonar gobhire, jodi
uthe ashey duto akta line ba harano muhurto?
Jeebon boye jabe obikol, obiram, oshanto.
Coffeer chamoche jeebon mepe chola
Eliot shaheb tokhon tar dhongsho stupe
bosey tar korun banshi ti bajaben r akash
alo kore chand uthbe akti kalo meyer bagane.
Bhalo theko shohor, bhalo theko sopno-kella,
bhalo theko tumio. Bhalo thakuk rongon ful,
mather ghaash, aam-er bol, neri kukur, lohar gate.
Golpo tuku sesh hobar agey jeev-e makhiye nao
swad, tentul-r acharer moto. Tarpor kagoj ta
kono gach tolae fele dio, matitey mishe jabe akdin.
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Sunday, November 28, 2010
Saturday, November 27, 2010
Thursday, November 25, 2010
If u can love,
with all your heart,
not doubt yourself,
come out in the open
and roll on the grass.
Smell the flowers.
Kiss the leaves
and touch the new buds.
Sing a song.
Hum a tune.
Climb the rainbow
and chase the birds.
if you do
to love and live,
to leave my garden
when the autumn comes
Cant bear to lose
without a trace.
If you believe
in fragrant springs
behind the winter,
my gates are closed
and I raise a host
for your name.
May spring come sweet
and make your feet
I am a soul
with tears and joys
words and laughter,
all soiled and heathen.
Monday, November 22, 2010
Duto janala khola thake.
Majkhane ak akash chand.
Amra du-mutho hashir jyostna chhure di.
Amra khuje choli ondhokar golir majhe
agun pakhir chhana!!
Asholey ki khujchi amra? Nijeder?
Haather kaanch ta ki ayna na magnifying glass?
Amader mukh duto ki ak-i na protifolon?
Raash purnimar chand dheu-r anchol bhoriye rakhe.
Lal ghor neel ghor amit labanno (no ketoki mitro please).
Kobitar pata ghete khuje chola nijer ostitter chhaya
R kothao ogochore anguler faakey anguler atmo-somorpon
Saturday, November 20, 2010
i keep running on the mill,
Friday, November 19, 2010
oi hiji biji lekha gulor opor
muchhe felte chai
kichu likhito jeebon.
kintu othey na kali
mochhe na lekha
shudhu kalo daag chhoriye pore
r roktakto hote thake
jeeboner pata guli.
chhirey jabe na to pechhoner
shada pata gulo?
amar agamir olikhito
golpo ra chhire jabe na to?
rubber ta ghoshte ghoste
khoy hote thake.
tobu bhoy rokto jontrona
likhte parina ami notun
kono golpo, bhoye,
jodi abar muchhte hoy
ei bifol rubber diye?
Thursday, November 18, 2010
sei bhalo sei bhalo,
amare na hoy na jano,
sei bhalo sei bhalo
durey giye noy dukkho debe
kache kano laaje lajano?
mor basante legeche to sur
benu bono chhaya, hoeche modhur,
thak na emoni gondhe bidhur,
milono kunjo sajano,
sei bhalo sei bhalo,
amare nahoy na jano,
sei bhalo sei bhalo
(music has coloured my spring,
tomar byakul noyone bhaber khela
utolo anchol elokhelo chul dekhechi jhorero bela
gopone dekhechi tomar,
tomate amate hoyni j kotha
morme amar,ache se barota, na bola bani
na bola banir niye akulota
amar bashiti bajano
(secretly i have seen
sei bhalo sei bhalo
amare nahoy na jano
durey gie nahoy dukkho debe
kache kano laaje lajano,
sei bhalo sei bhalo,
amare nahoy na jano
sei bhalo sei bhalo
Monday, November 15, 2010
Thursday, November 11, 2010
Tar noyon-jora boshai amar
chokhe, dekhte thaki opoloke,
chhute thaki mukh khana
oi ghum makhano chokh diye,
chinte thaki nijekei oi jadu aynar
kacher majhe, r bhabi...
Saturday, November 6, 2010
Friday, November 5, 2010
shwet mukhe tar onek khani opekkha.
neel heeme bhore jae sossho khet,
kol balishe dhaka thake prarthona,
r ak ayna sopno-bhora chokh hoy sojol.
gacher mora daale kobey
futbe uthey rokto shimuler kuri,
r ak mutho somporker ushno ta
janalar gorad dhore bose thake eka chand
tar chokhe makha thake neel opekkhar kajol.
Thursday, November 4, 2010
I may fly. I may not. Its my wish.
And your need or prayers.
I am an albatross, my wings span the width
of the dark night as the mercuric silver sky
shines above. I let out a cry and tear the
obtuse silence. Love me. Hate me. You need
me. If you try to kill me, my corpse shall
hang on your neck, as a sin and a cross.
Redemption for revenge. A hard bargain.
I am within you, permeated through your
existence. Look within, my wind you breathe
and you have nothing inside but me alone.
I stand before you. An albatross, an angel,
Satanic powers, a shadow of love and salvation.
Choose how you want me -- a dark desire or fair?
You have tasted my blood and eaten my flesh.
You cant escape. Come to me bandey, come home.
You are mine and mine alone.
Sunday, October 31, 2010
The last show is over. The screen blank.
All the words, laughter, colours, songs,
Glitz, glam and melodramatic emotions
Are over. No more love. No more pain.
The screen shall blank forever remain.
Phrases, lines, promises and catches
Of songs replay themselves in the black.
And the flashback starts with a jerk
Behind closed eyes. The voices heard
For the last time, resound and doze off.
A glass of wine held in cold hands
Trembles with unfulfilled hopes,
Aspirations false. Darkness clouds in.
The colourless poison mixes well
Drop by drop
Into the lusty red wine and
Disappears in the taste of wasted grapes.
The hall is large and dark and empty.
The chairs are where people have been.
The steps to the podium rise and go
Nowhere but sigh at the nothingness.
The screen is blank, dark and wears
A dark mourning shroud. Silence.
Eyes close and the icy cold air enters
The nostrils in a long long breath and soothes
The burning skin and inflamed insides.
Promises and dreams break away like
Shattered glass. And a salty drop
Plops into the still wine and dissolves.
Lips touch the cold edge of the crystal wineglass.
And sip it in as do the eyes of a lover drink his
Beloved’s face with a strange yearning
And smear her face with love dreamt and discarded.
The final dreg and a kiss on the edge are all
That shall remain, as remembrance and signs
Of a forgotten tomorrow, a forgotten love
And an intoxicated belief of peace in death.
As eyes close in the desire of animated colours and dreams spell a charm on them, somewhere a magic land awakens to a newborn light. Castles and cottages, wear a shade of slate blue and the eastern sky blushes with a reddish tinge. The magic-man plays on his flute then, a sweet tune. Flowers open their petals and peep out to see who that player is and how he plays such a sweet note. Birds happily come out of their shady nest in pairs and join in the sweet tune. And he plays on, as the sun kisses the horizon with a passionate reddish orange and the sky brightens with elated joy. In their togetherness, they brighten and morning shines through.
In the castles and cottages, eyes open and listen to the liquid music. They lie in their beds and the music seeps through their brains and soothe their souls. Some feel joyous, and want to run out towards a green happy day. Some feel the harmony and sing along a rustic line or two. Some turn towards their close ones lying beside them and hold them warmly close. They feel lucky enough to have loved ones, a family and God's grace. Some close their eyes again and the face of their beloved one swims before their eyes. They marvel at the inexplicable joy that fills their heart and also a stab of pain. A hundred words travel through their minds all desiring to be spoken -- to him, to her. The music plays on. Some lay tight on their bed as memories of their wrong doing grasp them tight and kill their souls. Some weep in remorse, some weep in lamentation and some weep sadly, all alone. Some little eyes go back to sleep as the music whispers a lullaby. Some sit up and thank the Lord and pray for happiness and peace for all and sundry. Mothers kiss their little children. The sun glows with a warm shine as lovers melt away.
But where is the magic man? Where does he brings his music from and what is he playing of? Is it the music of joy and love? Does it speak of the pain in his heart? Is he in love? Where does the magic lie? Where is the magic man? He is not by the river bank, nor in the shady haunt of the hills, nor in the garden of wild flowers in the meadows. Where is he then? And what song flows from his magic flute? Can you hear it dear reader? Do you know?
Saturday, October 30, 2010
Sedin sokal shuru holei surjo bole hi!!!
Golap gache kuri gulo olpo futey jae,
Neel akash ta papri mele alto hashi hashe,
r moner bhetor bokorbokor bhorti fishfashey.
Keu jane na, keu jane na, gopon se ak khela.
Shada kalo dhulor majhe, hajar ronger mela.
Lal dopati, neel dopati, sobuj ghasher sish.
Khepate sopne ghum ashena, jagchi ohornish
Chokher majhe golpo lekha, kothok esheche.
Bolbe kotha ki kore se? Jiv-e kamor legeche.
Keu jane na, keu jane na. gopon se ak kotha.
Hajar mukto khuje pawa akti matro kotha.
Samne jokhon elo se tar noyon bhora sukh,
mukher peshi shokto kintu ta-dhin nache buk.
Keu bolo na, keu bolo na,
hashi futbe thote,
onek koste chepe rakha onubhuti ta bote.
Chokh duti te jonak jole, atke thake fuley.
Chul guli tar roy na badha, eliye pore khule.
Mon pathore nam likhecho, dubbe na r jole,
kon jadu te prem harale, mon jetano bole?
Keu jane na, keu bole na, gopon se ak kotha.
Keu jane na, keu bojhe na, lukano se ak byatha.
Keu janena, keu janena,
Kahini robe ki na robe,
keu bolena, keu bojhena,
erpor ki hobe ....