dig my chin into my knees
and close my fists tight.
Shut my eyes
close my ears
reduce myself
into a foetus
and wish I was never born
being undone thus.
Half weeping
half hoping
half awake
half sleeping
unnerved
scared
fearing a loss
deep inside.
I stretch out my arms
and want to belong
want to be loved
and cared for
a kiss
a tender touch
a breath of assurance.
Where do I find a shelter
for my hurt being?
Cut into pieces and scattered
over the dust and burnt.
I can only weep
and turn like a wheel
from love to despair
from dreams to loss
and be left alone
to put back everything
like a jigsaw puzzle.
I want to go back
into the dark amniotic sac
and the cerebral presence
the umbilical cord
my trace into the womb.
Better still
the zygotic meosis stopped
and me only a possibility.
An idea of a daughter.
Undo me
O undo me, mother!
